


Game of Posession

by Madzie2000



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Lack of Communication, Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Serious Injuries, injured child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:32:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madzie2000/pseuds/Madzie2000
Summary: After a ship crashes on an unidentified planet, James.T.Kirk gives Pavel Chekov the only remaining survivor... a five year old girl without a name or a home. Chekov leaves the Enterprise with the child and is sent back to Earth immedately, as she has been unjured badly.Fifteen years later, as Lead Techncian, Ensign 20 is greeted by Kirk and Spock. 20 has an odd limp and recalls the lyrics of a song long dead. There is, however, only one person old enough to know even the smallest amount about 20's past: Khan Noonien Singh.





	1. A Girl for Chekov

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is yet ANOTHER fanfic to make up for the removal of 3 (give or take 1) of my previous stories I had been working on. My father whom introduced me to the ever popular Star Wars sparked my interest in the new Star Trek movies and I am yet to see 'Star Trek: Beyond'. After watching 'Into Darkness' I wondered what it would be like for Khan to see a human who is truly 'imperfect'. This story was the brainchild of that line of thought...

On the bridge, Captain James Tiberius Kirk sat in his Chair at the centre of the room surveying the stars as they rolled past in hyperspace. They had been tracking a ship for the past week, two years after Khan tried to destroy Starfleet from within. The success in their journey was owed – in part – to Khan himself, but mainly to the brave men and women who had been aboard the ship and stayed despite the terrorism he had brought about. While Kirk let his mind wander Chekov was trying to get his attention.

“Sir?” Chekov said timidly.

“Captain!” Ensign Pavel Chekov half-shouted.

Kirk whipped his head to look at Chekov, his expression reading only as annoyance. He turned his head to look at the short man in his yellow shirt with his usual don’t-annoy-me face.

“What is it Chekov?” Kirk said flatly.

“The ship crashed on the planet Captain... and I’m only getting one human life sign,” Chekov said with both seriousness and concern.

“I’ll send Commander Spock down there to get them off that rock,” Kirk said with a nod in Spock’s direction “and keep the channel open. We don’t want any nasty surprises.”

Spock nodded once in obedience and left for the transporter room. The beam of the transporter swirled around his body and Spock had his phaser at the ready should something go wrong. The moment his feet touched the red rock around the crash site he heard crying. It was a child. The crew on the bridge could hear it through Spock’s badge, each and every one of them stunned into silence. There would be an orphan aboard the ship for the next four years if this wasn’t some sort of trap. As the crying got louder, the crew became almost morose. The child was in pain and Spock was calming her down without words. He said nothing and yet the child grew quiet. Kirk wasn’t happy when he figured it out after a full minute of silence.

“Spock,” Kirk said loudly “for the love of God... please tell me you didn’t use the Vulcan thing on a child!”

“I’d be lying if I did Jim,” Spock replied in his honest manner, grunting as he picked up the little girl.

“She’s got burns across her legs and the left one is severely disfigured. This girl is going to need more medical attention than we could possibly give her on our ship.”

“How old is she?” Kirk asked out of curiosity, secretly forming a plan in his head.

“Do you know how old you are?” Spock said to the girl in his arms with a rare smile.

She held up five fingers in response, a sudden calm washing over her features.

“Five apparently,” Spock said through his badge “and pretty cute if you ask me.”

“Okay, stop getting cutesy with the kid and get her up here so she can be treated or sedated,” Kirk said with a hint of annoyance “We’ll leave her with Chekov at the nearest Starfleet Base so they can get back to Earth. If we’re lucky enough she might find us in 20 years time.”

Spock held the girl in his arms, keeping his hands as far from her disfigured left leg as he possibly could. The burns to the left side of her body were worst near her calves and he dreaded to think of whom or what had caused this child so much pain. When Nyota saw Spock talking to the little girl she couldn’t help but smile... that was, until she saw the horrific burns.

“You weren’t wrong Commander,” Nyota said in recognition of her partner’s claims “it is bad.”

The badge cut out and the girl was carried by the Lieutenant to Sick Bay where she could be treated. As soon as she left the room she was greeted by Spock peering into the room.

“To think she’s among her owns species but nobody knows her name...” Spock said with the philosophical part of his mind.

“... it would be harder if she understood that about herself,” Lieutenant Uhura finished for him.

“I hope you’re like this with our children.”

With a quick peck on the cheek, Nyota went back into Sick Bay so that she could dress the girl in something better than a tattered top and pair of trousers. Spock left and entered the bridge to find Chekov looking at the Captain as though he’d been asked to commence the ship’s self destruct sequence. In Pavel’s mind, this was just as bad, if not worse.

“But Captain,” Chekov said in a fluster “I’ve just turned 20 years of age... I can’t look after little girls!”

“Just call it preparation Mr Chekov,” Kirk replied with a cheeky grin.

 

Some Time Later...

 

With her leg wrapped up and Chekov packed up to leave for home, all that remained was for the pair to meet and of course be beamed down to the base. Chekov’s small pack contained a salve that McCoy had made for the girl’s leg should it need to be numbed on the way back to earth. Chekov relayed the doctor’s instruction back to him perfectly and received a warm handshake. It was better than nothing. He knew Bones was a busy man and didn’t take the lack of words to heart. Kirk came next, being the Captain of course. It would have been wrong if he didn’t wish an officer farewell. Spock was the last to shake Chekov’s hand, carefully passing him the little girl. Chekov sat the girl on his hip and she wrapped her legs around his left ribs automatically, holding onto his shirt tightly as if he’d let go at any moment.

“Hello,” Chekov said sheepishly to the little girl “I’m...”

Chekov was at a loss as he searched the crew’s faces for an instant.

How could this girl possibly learn his name? Much as he loved his family and his home country, he had to admit that Russian’s had the most ridiculous names.

“Mr Chekov,” he said with an adorable yet coy smile.

“Hello Mr Chicken,” the girl said shamelessly, without hesitation.

Kirk and Spock could barely contain their laughter and – as Chekov was transported to the base with the girl – heard his voice.

“I’ll get used to it,” he called over the sound of the transporter.

The girl reached up and tapped his nose. He made a silly face and the child giggled. She was practically growing on him already. By the time Chekov and the girl were well and truly gone, Kirk and Spock were in hysterics. The best part of this arrangement was that Chekov had to be ‘Mr Chicken’ for however long it took the girl to say his name correctly.


	2. Not a Chance Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Kirk meet the sole survivor of the ship that crashed on a barren planet... 15 years ago

20: a name and a number. It was a meaningless reminder of who she was or could have been. She could spell it in letters but that made no difference. 20 was a number and it was her name; she couldn’t change it – according to Starfleet – unless she found her real name. Until that time she was nobody with her own personal serial number to carry around. 20 walked up to the turbo lift and told it exactly where she wanted to go.

“The bridge,” she said in an even, unfailing tone.

She knew all too well that a turbo lift required clear, precise instructions. This was especially important on a vessel that named cargo holds with both letters and numbers. Any letter that rhymed with 3 could easily cause an issue with productivity. If somebody was in a turbo lift for an hour trying to find the materials needed for repairs but they were linguistically inadequate, they could be stuck in there for many more. That was the only reason she would have preferred stairs. Otherwise, 20 had no other grievances with the turbo lift aside from repairing one. When she reached the top, 20 stepped out of the small tube onto the bridge with an air of confidence. As she approached the Captain’s chair an arm moved in front of her, long and slender, belonging to a Vulcan man. She felt a strong sense of recognition between them as if they’d been friends for years. In an instant she also sensed a fresh mental wound... the loss of a life. Not wanting to stare for too long, 20 took a step back.

“I’m sorry sir,” she said apologetically with a hint of surprise “I didn’t realise I’d caught you at a bad time. My name is 20 and I’ve been assigned to the Enterprise as Ensign.”

“What kind of a name is Twenty?” Kirk said as he turned to look at the new arrival.

Upon seeing her face he recognised her as the child Chekov had held fifteen year ago, making faces as if she'd always been his.

She was the child who couldn’t say his name and called him 'chicken' without a single shred of shame. He and Spock had laughed for five full minutes after Chekov left. 

“Sir?” 20 said as the feeling of recognition bounced between her, the Vulcan male and the Captain as a question formed in his head.

“Forgive me for asking, but do you know someone by the name of Pavel Chekov?” Kirk asked in mild excitement.

He had only spoken to Chekov once in the past 15 years and regretted not allowing more time for his personal endeavours. Instead it had been devoted to rebuilding Starfleet from the ground up and teaching future officers practical skills besides their own area of expertise. This was his last voyage aboard Enterprise before he would be given the title of **Admiral Kirk**.

“Yes Sir,” 20 replied with a pleasant smile “but I’m afraid he is no longer with us.”

“May I ask what happened?” the Vulcan said, not skipping a beat.

“Spock,” Kirk said dismissively “leave it.”

“Permission to speak sir?” 20 asked with the most respectful tone she could manage.

“Granted,” he said in reply “What is it Ensign 20?”

“If the man next to you is Mr Spock then would I be safe in assuming that you’re Captain Kirk? The one who sent me back to Earth with Chekov?”

“The very same,” Kirk answered with a hint of pride “and don’t call me Sir... it’s too formal.”

“Captain then?”

“Perfect.”

Spock looked between 20 and Kirk, quickly assessing the young woman.

“You’ve grown a lot since we last saw you,” Spock observed.

“I’m afraid fifteen years will do that to you," the young woman answered with a warm smile "May I call you Spock?”

“Everyone else does.”

20 nodded to show that she understood and decided that her question could wait.

“Well if you’ll excuse me Captain,” 20 said with a fading smile and a nod in his direction “I have to report to Engineering to confirm my work schedule.”

“Live long and prosper,” she added with the traditional hand gesture.

Spock gave 20 a nod and she walked away, tripping over her own feet.

“Watch out for that leg Ensign,” Kirk said with a point.

“I will,” she said quickly, throwing the two older men a smirk over her shoulder.

The smirk disappeared as she looked at the door of the turbo lift, turning back to Spock and Kirk. 

“Does the ship have an archive of the Arts at all?” 20 asked Kirk, hoping he would give her the answer she was looking for.

“If you tell me why it’s so important I might,” he said with a strong sense of authority.

“I have a song that’s been stuck in my head for years Captain,” 20 said “and I‘m almost certain that I heard it before boarding our ship that crashed 15 years ago. The only reason my name became a number is because it was the one word I knew aside from 'chicken' and basic sentences. I suffer from an aggressive form of amnesia; I got back snippets of my life but not enough to find any living relatives or at least where I’m from.”

She sighed in defeat and delivered a final blow to Kirk and Spock’s emotional threshold.

“This is my only chance.”

“It’s not as if we get to listen to music anyway,” Kirk said in jest.

With a nod Spock added “Agreed.”

The trio walked over to a panel and 20 keyed in the song’s lyrics and the song began to play; she chose to listen to lower volume so that nobody else would be distracted should they decide to enter the bridge.

_As a child, you would wait_

_And watch from far away_

_But you always knew that you’d be the one_

_To work while they all played..._

“Does that sound familiar to you at all Captain?” 20 asked with a hint of excitement.

Kirk ran a separate search on the panel next to her and shook his head.

“Nobody on this ship would say that 20 – this came out sometime in the twenty-first century,” he replied with a look of concern “If you heard this boarding the ship then I’m afraid your family is long gone.”

Kirk stood and looked at Spock seriously, moving from his hunched position over the panel to the standard, straight-backed posture he had learnt to loathe. 

“How can we possibly find a family if nobody from that year is still around?” Kirk whispered a little too loudly.

Spock’s reply sent a shiver down his spine.

“Jim, you and I both know there is only one man who could answer that question.”

“So in the past 3 minutes we’ve gone from good, to bad, to... Khan," the captain said with sincere worry.

"This is going to be a long voyage if I know one,” Kirk said in a tone heavily laden with sarcasm.

“Who’s Khan?” 20 piped up as she willed her feet to stop swaying her side to side.

“Let’s just say it’s not a story worth telling,” Spock answered her quickly.

Kirk only nodded in acknowledgement.

“I’ll tell Doctor McCoy to get him out of the freezer before we take off,” he said in a flat tone.

As she left the room and re-entered the turbo lift, 20 could feel Spock’s eyes on her while Kirk seemed lost in despair and his own personal anguish. While 20 didn’t usually admire such a thing, she enjoyed the Captain’s ability to externally hide his true emotions so well. She wouldn’t do any research on Khan, though. She would do her job and go down to Engineering just as she said... without further delay.

“Engineering,” 20 said with a waver in the depth of her voice over the double vowel.

As the doors closed she felt the intensity of Spock’s gaze and Kirk’s fears melt away. With each passing floor a new wave of relief flooded her mind. Now 20 would be calm enough to begin her work (or at the very least prepare for the Enterprise to take off). Twenty was glad – at the very least – that they hadn’t mentioned her limp at all. What she hid under her uniform wasn’t something they would want to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who don't know me, I really enjoy knowing what needs to be added, removed or changed in my style of writing. 
> 
> Comments are wanted and highly appreciated!


	3. Shattering Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan is awakened by Dr McCoy with 20's assistance.  
> Their is a scuffle and 20 comes to understand who Khan is on the inside... she thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POSSIBLE SPOLIERS BELOW!!
> 
> I am waiting for Trekkians to comlain that the Eugenics War was earlier or later than I say it is in this fic.  
> However, it will be some time in the future (after 2017) despite Warriors apearing on the music scene in 2015.
> 
> I have planned it this way as old music is and can be found or 'resurrected' despite it's old age; this explains why 20 hearing it does not mean she was alive in this era. She simply heard a copy :)

Khan was a heavy sleeper when it came to reanimation. Bones couldn’t help but smirk mentally at the idea. He may have been ‘perfect’ as he so strongly insinuated, but he certainly didn’t overcome sleep as well as some of their crew could. Of course, he could be wrong. Just because he was a Doctor it didn’t mean that Khan couldn’t trick him. He had remained vigilant of every shift in his face, his hands (especially his hands) and even his legs lest he suffer the same fate as Carol Marcus’ father. Nobody had seen it besides Khan himself, Carol and Captain Kirk. Not only had Marcus lost the respect of his daughter and most of the crew, but he had also lost his head... literally. Shuddering at his thoughts of what a human brain might look like splattered on the ground, McCoy went back to addressing Ensign 20 who had come down to see Khan. He hadn’t told her about the incident with Carol’s father, but he did mention the fact that he was a psychopath who believed himself to be above the rest of humanity. **A lot**. McCoy watched as 20 moved over to Khan and – standing a whole metre away from his sleeping form – stared him down. His eyes were moving under their lid, his eyes followed McCoy’s voice as he finished off the short history of Khan’s past onboard the Enterprise. He was listening.

“Doc,” 20 said as she backed away toward McCoy “I think he’s waking up.”

McCoy gave 20 the simplest instructions he could manage in the short amount of time he had before Khan realised what might happen.

“Go to your quarters,” McCoy said as he winked “and wait for further instructions.”

Unknown to them, Khan had his eyes open and saw McCoy wink at a young woman with long, wavy brown hair in the reflection of a metal panel on the wall, the locks tied back and her fringe hanging down her temples like a curtain. 20 shouted in alarm as Khan (over 6 feet tall compared to her tiny 5 feet and four inches) swung an arm furiously in their direction, McCoy not ducking down in time. It was all she could take note of in that moment. McCoy fell to the floor and pressed an injector against Khan’s leg, attempting to administer a potent dosage of anaesthetic that would keep him down. However, Khan moved his leg backward at the right angle, allowing only half the dosage to enter his body. Reaching out in front of him as he fell to the floor, Khan grabbed onto 20’s left leg and ripped at her pants as if he wanted to draw blood. The fabric gave way easily with Khan’s raw strength and revealed a fifteen year old injury that never fully healed. The flesh was darker by a few shades in comparison to 20’s arms and face, thick scars running around her calves and weblike veins pulsing at odd angles. Her calve and a small section of her shin had a chunk missing on the left side where her burns had been worst: this was the sight that greeted Khan and Dr McCoy. Khan was still enraged but lowered his head as the rest of the strong anaesthetic entered his body. 20’s eyes were trained on Khan’s body as McCoy injected the rest of the anaesthetic.

“Was he always like this Doc?” 20 asked, following her sentence with a deep, calming breath.

“Worse,” McCoy said as he stood, motioning for 20 to take Khan’s legs and move him onto the examination table.

“So,” 20 grunted as she and McCoy hauled Khan back onto the lightly padded table “where is he going now that he’s out for the count again?”

“A glass cell, same as the last time,” McCoy said with a glance in 20’s direction as she stared Khan down once more “Hopefully he hasn’t thought up an ingenious way to get out while he’s been hibernating.”

20’s eyes snapped up to look at the door of the Sick Bay as they opened up, revealing Captain Kirk and Commander Spock.

“Well we timed this perfectly, didn’t we Bones?” Kirk said with a small hint of pride playing at the edges of his lips where a smile threatened to curl them.

“We did,” McCoy said as he looked at Spock “With your help of course Spock.”

The Vulcan had his eyes trained on 20’s revealed leg and his stomach churned. She could feel concern emanating within Spock, hatred slowly filling the leftover gaps in the emotions let his friends believe were hidden. In his mind his emotions ran free. Completely unaware of what he could see, 20 shuddered to think of what he saw to make him so... then it hit her like a polished glass panel. _He’s staring at my leg... why do they always stare?_ As if he sensed her discomfort, Spock looked away from 20 and addressed Kirk.

“Captain,” Spock said with a quick glance in 20’s direction “I think we should explain our plans to Ensign 20 before she asks any questions. It seems she understands Khan’s true nature after this small display.”

His eyes darted in the direction of 20’s leg and Kirk went numb for a moment as he took in the damage the crash had done.

“Well that explains the limp doesn’t it Captain?” 20 smiled.

“It does,” he replied in a serious tone.

“Follow us Ensign,” Kirk said as McCoy and an officer from down the hall helped moved Khan ahead of them on a stretcher.

20 easily kept up with them by taking longer, quicker strides. Having longer legs made the men seem quicker, but her determination to understand what they had planned was urging her forward. It was how she kept up. They entered a hallway that opened up into a small circular room with two cells opposite each other. The only thing that separated them from a captured criminal was 20cm of glass. Remembering the number, 20 cocked her brow and watched the two officers slide Khan off of the stretcher onto the floor of his new and – as she guessed – temporary home. As the two officers made their way back to their allocated stations, 20 let her mind and eyes focusing on Khan’s motionless form. She couldn’t feel his emotions and she knew that he was still unconscious. She hadn't thought to monitor them earlier because - at that point in time - he hadn't been a possible threat.

“Captain, why am I here?” 20 asked when she realised that Kirk and Spock were still with her in the room.

“I go on duty in fifteen minutes and there are quite a few levels down to the places I perform routine maintenance.”

“You won’t be late Twenty,” Kirk said, a polite yet amused smile decorating his lips “but I do need you to stick around. You’re the one who has to appeal to him.”

20 followed Kirk’s pointed finger and realised what he meant.

“You want me to talk to him?” she questioned the Captain with a higher pitch to her voice.

“Because of that glass the worst thing he could do is curse you out or leave you emotionally scarred,” Kirk replied with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Jim,” Spock said with his melancholy expression “I don’t trust Khan, glass or not. He tried to kill you because you were an obstacle; how likely is it that he’ll kill 20 just to anger us?”

“Spock, we’re going to walk out the door for ten minutes and leave 20 here,” he said as he turned his head slightly in her direction “and then we’ll come back for her... agreed?”

20 nodded at Spock and he gave a simple “Yes.”

20 felt the fear in him, the anger... he was worried about her safety and she wanted to cry. _People don’t usually care about the invalids because they’re useless._ As Kirk and Spock left through the door and entered the open halls, 20’s mind was flooded with a feeling she hated more than fear. She felt pure terror rise up her spine like a serpent as Khan’s eyes snapped open. The rage – so pure and unbridled – had lain sleeping with him in his unconscious state and now it had awoken. Pride was at the helm of his actions, his words; even his definition of honour was focused solely on selfish intent. In Khan’s own mind he was righteous in every way, both in his speech and in his ministrations, both of which brought about chaos and destruction. She could feel curiosity worm its way through his broken ideals as his eyes moved to her leg. Surely he knew she felt sick just being so near to him? His very aura – not that she held such fickle belief as a reality – spoke of the atrocities he had committed against Spock and Kirk. There were countless others who suffered at his hands and she knew it. Khan stood slowly and elegantly despite being a little drowsy.

“I can’t believe the lasting impression I’ve had on you,” Khan drawled as he bore a hole in 20’s face with his piercing eyes.

“You’re drenched in sweat and your breathing is quite shallow. Am I really that menacing?”

Khan walked to the glass and pressed a hand to it, likely to steady himself. 

“No,” 20 said with a hint of persistence to her tone “But you could pin it down to my sixth sense.”

“Well you have my attention,” Khan said with a smile that (impossibly) sickened 20 further.

“I can read the emotions of any being just by looking at them,” 20 said without falter “and you are by far the sickest puppy I’ve ever dealt with.”

Khan’s smile dropped in a matter of seconds.

“You dare make fun of me, stupid woman?” Khan said through lightly clenched teeth.

“I have a proposition for you Khan,” 20 said as she drew on Khan’s anger to fuel her own words with a false sense of confidence “If you help me find my family I will personally see that 3 of your 72 crew members are reunited with you. It would take some convincing on your part but I’m certain you can manage with that vast intelligence of yours.”

Khan’s added anger dissipated and his curiosity was now being overridden by another emotion: happiness. Now she really wanted to retch.  
  
“What do I need to do to earn my three crew members? Search your name in the ship’s computer? Any idiot could do that and you’re wasting my time.”

“Well I haven’t given you the detail yet, have I?” 20 smirked as her own anger surfaced to join in with her slight amusement.

“Go on,” Khan said with venom lacing his tone.

“I recalled hearing music play before we left (what I'm assuming was) Earth. I have no idea what happened after that because everything has been a blur. **You’re** supposed to help me find out what went wrong.”

“I could tell you right now if I wanted but with all that talking back I suppose you could wait a while,” Khan said with a horrid grin.

He liked teasing her and she liked doing the same back... it was happening again. She couldn’t take on his personality. 

The last time it happened she nearly knocked out Chekov because her close friend was of Germanic descent. God she hated World War II.

“Are you willing to shake on it or is that beneath someone of your standing?” 20 ventured as his hand left the glass.

“Find out for yourself,” he replied in an aggravated tone.

20 walked through a thin corridor to the door that separated her from Khan. The anger he held back was still sickening, but she keyed in a number and the doors opened enough for her arm to fit through. The glass doors opened up vertically to make attacks less likely when food was delivered to a prisoner. Their design meant that they couldn’t get an arm through without upturning the tray and risking a decent meal. When her forearm was inside of the cell, Khan took 20’s hand with his. The size comparison was laughable at best. For a second his anger almost completely melted away. He was entranced by her tiny stature and the way she limped... and then suddenly he wasn’t. Khan brought his other arm around, meaning to break the bone but 20 gave her hand a hard tug and brought him forward, his head hitting the thick glass.

“Sick bastard,” she muttered to herself, shutting the doors completely.

“Stupid woman!” Khan shouted “What about my crew?”

“They can rot in hell for all I care!” 20 said a little too loudly at the glass as Kirk and Spock walked in.

“20,” Spock said with worry in his tone “What happened?”

“I pissed him off, that’s all,” was her flippant reply.

“I mean what you did to get that sickly!” he said quickly “You’re as pale as the walls.”

20 saw her reflection in the glass as Khan beat against it once in blind fury. 

She jumped back in surprise and her face read of nothing but fear. Khan kept his eyes on her as Spock lead 20 to Sick Bay, both of his arms fastened on one of hers. He had seen it too.

“So... what’s got your blood boiling?” Kirk said from the opposite side of the glass.

“Your idea of a competent Starfleet officer,” Khan mocked “She’s more irritable than a Tribble and Spock is no better.”

“That’s what you get for messing around with **my** crew, Khan,” Kirk snapped at Khan “But whatever she’s promised you I hope it’s worth the risk of us bringing you along. From today onward she’s one of the few faces you’ll get to see.”

Khan’s anger disappeared at the thought of the younger woman trailing him like a lost puppy.

“She knows how to use a phaser and the closest thing she has to a father is a Vulcan... so I wouldn’t try anything stupid,” Kirk said as he smiled to himself in full view of Khan.

“Enjoy your night you son of a bitch,” he added with a strange malice. 


	4. This is Mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 and Khan have an agreement with Kirk that both leaves them with a great many reservations.  
> Somehow Khan develops something a bit above mere respect for the young Starfleet officer.

“What did you find out from Captain Crazy?” Bones said with a smiling hinting at the edges of his lips.

20 knew that he was both concerned and concentrated on the scans, so she said one word which hopefully wouldn’t disrupt his work.

“Enough,” she said with a humorous grin which held back a cascade of laughter.

“Can I ask you a question Dr McCoy?” 20 said when he moved away to analyse the results of his scans.

“You’ll have to answer mine first 20,” McCoy said, clearly disturbed as his eyes rushing over the screen he was looking down at.

“How do you not have a migraine right now?” he said, utterly dumbfounded.

“The prefrontal area and temporal lobe are giving out abnormally high levels of activity.”

 “Look for yourself,” he offered with astonishment.

The medical diagram showed a normal brain with red dots spotted throughout different areas, but hers was completely different. Her brain (as viewed from the left hand side) had a sea of the red dots moving from the front – where her eyes, mouth and nose would normally be – down to the stem of her brain. These parts of the brain controlled emotions and information retrieval. Her brain was revealing her secret with science, not the supernatural methods she'd once suspected.

She had to tell him.

“You’re worried for my health, afraid that I could die from what I’d assume to be a haemorrhage and you’re curious to see what you have in your medical journals that could possibly explain the extraordinary brain activity,” 20 said effortlessly “Isn’t that correct Dr McCoy?”

“Not quite,” he said in amazement “but you’re pretty damn close. How did you know that?”

“I’ve been able to sense the emotions in people’s minds since I was little,” 20 answered in truth “And I always know what the emotion is... I can always put a name to it I mean. The rest filled in with common sense.”

“So what did Khan do to get you so faint and pale?” McCoy said.

In that moment, he realised what it might be and – of course – he was about to be told that he was wrong.

“He has an attraction toward you?” McCoy said as his brow furrowed in slight disgust.

Not for the fact that Khan appreciated 20’s beauty, but simply because it was Khan.

“No,” 20 laughed as she chanced one final glance at the scan of her brain “God no.”

She took in a deep breath and let it out, seriousness returning to her usually cheerful face.

“He’s full of negative emotions and other’s emotions have been known to reflect back onto me if they’re strong enough,” 20 said in a sullen tone.

 She looked around the room as if someone might hear them and leaned in toward McCoy.

“It was so bad at one point that I gave Chekov a knuckle sandwich over something that happened hundreds of years ago in World War II,” she said quietly.

“Could have been worse, right?” McCoy said with a hint of positivity “You could have killed the poor guy instead!”

Realising what he had joked about was inappropriate, McCoy did the only thing a sane person would do if they found themselves in his predicament.

“I’m sorry 20,” came his flat tone.

“It’s okay,” she said with a small smile “He actually said the same thing the next day with a cold pop pressed against his black eye.”

McCoy snorted back a laugh and 20’s smile grew.

“I’ll be fine Bones,” 20 said with a newfound confidence that was usually nonexistent “Just make sure I don’t have to deal with Khan too much more.”

“About that... he’s kind of your responsibility,” McCoy said with a look of certainty.

“Oh sh–”

20 was cut off by a familiar feeling of terror filling her gut, almost falling onto McCoy as Kirk walked in with Khan. She held onto the display with her scan on it, managing to deactivate it as she turned to face Captain Kirk. Khan was standing next to him and seemed to have caught the scan before it went down; his eyes had narrowed whilst he stared at her.

“Ensign,” Kirk said with a formality in his voice “From now onward your job is not only performing maintenance on the ship.”

“Captain, I needed to be down in the lower levels fifteen minutes ago.”                                       

“20 the circuitry isn’t going anywhere. Ensign Carter is already on it. As I was saying, you have another task... Khan’s reintroduction to humanity.”

20’s eyes met Khan’s and her heart began to beat erratically despite her calm-ish exterior.

“What does that entail exactly?” she asked her eyes finally snapped to Kirk.

“Making sure he stays out of trouble. Anything he does wrong is on your head. If he makes three mistakes then both of you miss out on what you’re looking for: he doesn’t get his crew and you won’t find out about your family. Khan is under oath.”

20 glanced at Khan as his inner rage beat at the edges of her mind. He was forcing it on her and the bastard was having fun.

“Surely if he’s part of the crew you’re not going to force him to sleep in that cell?” 20 said, faking concern at an almost professional level.

“No,” Kirk said with a small smile when he noticed her (and Khan’s) obvious discomfort.

“He’s joining you in your quarters and Ensign Carter is moving out. While it sounds risky I’d say it’s safe to assume you two hate each other too much for anything scandalous to happen.”

In that moment Khan and 20 had agreed on one thing without a single word: Captain Kirk was a pain in the ass even when he wasn’t trying to be.

“Captain, you can’t do that!”  20 said urgently “What if he kills me in my sleep?”

“Then he’s lost his one chance to get 3 crew members back,” Kirk grinned “and you have to escort him to the Tactical Division's deck each day to discuss tactical information with the officer on this chip.”

Kirk passed 20 a small chip to put into a display tablet and memorize. With the pleasantries over, Kirk dismissed 20 from her duties (though she had only checked 57 boards of the 80 she would have needed to leave and finish today) and left.

 

After some awkward staring...

 

Khan walked alongside 20 and he could see sweat beading across her forehead, still trying to piece together the reason for her odd behaviour.

“You should go back to Sick Bay and ask for a strong poison,” Khan said with something like humour in his voice “That might stop you from falling ill so easily.”

“The reason I look this way is because you have so much anger pent up that it is invading my mind and turning me into you,” she said with the venom he had used against her earlier “now I’m suffering as much as you should be with all that stress.”

Khan’s anger suddenly turned to shock and then it all went away in a flash as she hazily moved in front of him. He bumped into her side and looked down with annoyance and backed away. 20 keyed in the code, showing the keypad to Khan as she did so. If she was asleep and he had gone for a walk to clear his head, she didn’t want to be woken up by his anger and frustration at not being able to open it again.

“So what was the code?” 20 said as she blinked hard to remove a few swimming dots from her vision.

“1977,” Khan replied as he scanned the room.

To his left were to beds with a night stand in between them, three books atop it along with a small lamp. A thin mattress served as a seat below the tall, wide window looking out into the vast expanse of space around them. The right of the room was like a small dining area with a small round table and two metal chairs. This was likely for any meals eaten inside the room. To the left of the couch a metre from the chairs and table was a door.

“That door is for the shower,” 20 said when she saw his stare focused on it “Feel free to use it when you want but for the love of God don’t forget to take your clothes in with you.”

Khan gave one small huff of air that sounded like acknowledgement but she felt his amusement and embarrassment in under the anger. He really was human and he had a sense of humour in there somewhere.

“This is ridiculous,” Khan said under his breath.

“Don’t we know it,” 20 said as she sat on the edge of her bed.

Next to her she saw a set of clothes for Khan and pointed to the shower room door.

“I’d use it now before the others come in from their shifts and use up too much of the heated water,” 20 said casually as she removed her shoes.

Khan took the clothing and walked in, surprised by the lack of clutter the other men in his crew had complained about. He pulled the door in behind him and locked it, seeing a small plastic container on the left of the sink. In it was a hairbrush, one small tube of lip gloss and mascara in a rectangular tube that was slightly bigger than the lip gloss. It was nice to see that the woman wasn’t obsessed with her appearance. On the right was another container with a comb and shaving supplies. They were meant for him obviously. Khan picked up a towel from the rack to his left and sat it on the square sink, taking his clothes off with a little relief. The clothes he wore were starting to look quite shabby and he knew that his body needed to be cleaned something terrible. It was still a bit grimy from his fight with Spock in the city and stubble had begun to grow on and around his chin. When he finally emerged from the shower room he was clothed in the yellow uniform of a crew member ranked Ensign. They had changed the meaning of the colours since he was last on a Starfleet vessel. This only further proved that Kirk was telling the truth when he said 20 would incur some sort of punishment. While he was angered by the situation they had been thrust into, Khan couldn’t help but feel as though he should do the ‘wrong thing’ just **once** to see if Kirk would hold true to his word. But who was he kidding? Of course he would hold true to his word: he was the Captain and lying to his crew was like lying to a child. It was just something you didn’t do if you had sense. Khan opened the door and was immediately greeted by a peculiar sight. Twenty was sitting at the window, tears welling in her eyes and slowly making their way down her cheek. She saw him and quickly dabbed her eyes with her sleeve and made no attempt to explain her tears or talk to him. 20 merely nodded at him once, as if to say he had done a good job. A flicker of ride went through him and she smiled as she turned to look out of the window.

“Your hair is a mess,” 20 managed “You might want to use the comb.”

“What do you have to cry about?” he asked with a genuine curiosity that made her blood boil.

“You’ve seen my leg,” 20 said as she stop the tears from flowing with her fierce anger “I’m useless as a crewmember if we’re boarded by Klingons because I can’t run or fight, my family was killed in a fiery explosion and I have to share a room with a raging lunatic. Anything I missed?”

Khan was taken aback as 20 let her furious eyes bore into him, but amusement won out. With a grin that made her skin crawl, Khan moved to stand right in front of 20 and leant down to whisper into her ear.

“You can’t scare me,” Khan said as his grin turned into a cynical smile “I’ve seen a man’s brain matter slide off my own bare hands after I crushed his skull.”

20 had finally given in and turned quickly, standing up with a shockingly small amount of space between herself and Khan. She grabbed onto Khan’s forearm and tried with all her might to push her fear and her sickness onto him. It worked. Khan wrenched his arm free of 20’s grip as if she’d show him the dead body of one of his crew members. At least, that’s what his face said. 20 held his gaze and she moved past him to sit on her bed (the one closest to the door) and began reading her favourite book: Silmarillion by J.R.R Tolkien. It was old but apparently the writer had his works put onto film. Khan removed his shoes and sat up on his bed like 20, watching her read. For a split second he wanted her to never look at him, delighting at the thought. He wasn’t himself anymore. He actually – in the most minute of ways – admired 20’s bravery.


	5. Spock's Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khan and 20 read Tolken novels and get into a fight that's extremely one sided. Spock intervenes but it comes at the cost of his privacy...

How could he admire someone who was so different from himself? Could she possibly understand that her existence meant he wasn’t completely alone without his crew? But he couldn’t say anything yet... that was a condition of his agreeing to stay onboard the Enterprise. Khan saw a thick book that read as Lord of the Rings and found the title mesmerising. He picked up the replica of a paper book and appreciated the feel of paper in his hands. He had heard of this book and the films that had followed. It was about men fighting against one another until the race of humankind became fewer and fewer in number. With a grin, he found himself imagining 20 as the hebbit in the story. (When he opened it and began to read, he corrected himself mentally; it said the main character was a **hobbit** ). Khan had reached a point in the book where the four small heroes are travelling along a path when a small (well at least in comparison to his) finger tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his ferocious eyes on 20 and her mouth gave a slight twitch to show her apprehensive instinct. His own hand twitched in anger and 20 saw it as a threat.

“I was only going to give you this since you were so engrossed in my Tolkien novel,” 20 said with a definite tone as she handed him the black comb.

Khan watched her hand move to her belt where she had clipped a phaser. It hadn’t been there before and this was the last straw. When anger turned into a kinetic force there was no stopping it. 20 felt a hand fasten itself around her wrist, like an anaconda squeezing to see if she was still alive. Her other hand was free so she beat against Khan’s broad chest three times before he let her go roughly. The phaser shot a beam of light directly at Khan’s stomach with little effect. As he strode over to the wall 20 has pressed herself into, he realised that some kind of discomfort might scare her away from him.

“You’re scared of me?” Khan said in a mocking tone.

“I’m flattered,” he said as his hands grabbed the phaser, prised it from 20’s hands and braced her against the wall with his forearm.

He kicked her injured leg once and she let out a small yelp of pain. _That wasn’t nearly loud enough,_ came a voice in his head, _do it again and again until she screams_! Khan pushed 20 harder into the wall to prevent her from thrashing out and kicking him back. While it wouldn’t be painful, her kicking would distract him from the task at hand. As his leg came down on her shin a second time, she didn’t scream. The broken leg was excruciating... so much so that no sound came from 20 right away. Instead 20’s eyes welled up with tears and she held his gaze for what seemed to be an eternity. It was like time had slowed so he could watch her fall to the floor as blood seeped into the grey carpeted floors and a bloodcurdling scream ripped itself from 20’s throat. In that moment something clicked and he felt... _guilty, sad, angry with himself_? **Impossible**. Khan heard the door open with a swish and Spock entered, seeing 20 on the floor. In blind rage he threw a punch. Khan was already on the ground when he sat over his legs and began beating Khan bloody.

“Spock! Spock! Stop! Stop hitting him!” 20 said through her tears “Please.”

Spock looked down at Khan and whispered something 20 couldn't hear which forced him into stunned silence. Spock turned his attention to 20 as Khan stood and swiped the black underside of his sleeve across his nose. Thankfully it wasn’t broken, unlike 20’s leg. Spock put an arm around 20’s shoulder and Khan’s emotions were consumed by fear. It made 20 weak with the extra burden of wondering what had happened. Either Spock had threatened him or something was wrong. Spock seemed off... but this emotion she felt run through him in a quick flash made her mind scream. It was lust.

“He has to come with us Spock,” 20 said with a raw pain to her voice.

“You gave him a bloody nose and I should be the one to make an excuse Kirk will believe.”

Spock seemed to dislike the idea but 20 managed to limp out of her room as blood dripped onto the floor. Realising that 20 needed to stop moving before she bled out, Khan hit his badge and spoke solely to Bones.

“Dr McCoy,” Khan said in a flat tone “There’s been an accident. Twenty has a broken leg and I have sustained an injury myself. She needs more help than I do.”

Making a terrible joke, the Doctor replied “You’re wrong, but I’ll head down anyway.”

“Spock, McCoy is on his way,” Khan said “He can help all of us.”

20 looked up at Spock, the feeling of lust lasting a few seconds rather than for an instance. Spock told her to lean on the wall as he stalked over to Khan.

“There’s only one person who can help me and you know exactly who it is,” Spock said with a burning hatred.

It wasn’t just Khan he was mad at, but himself as well. And besides what other option was there? _It feels shameful just to think of what I might have to do, but surely Kirk would..._

“You disgust me!” Khan said as he grabbed the front of Spock’s uniform, pulling their faces close together.

“Give me a reason to hit you and I will make sure it hurts,” Khan said through clenched teeth.

20 stood with her back against the wall for support as her leg was flooded by a new wave of pain. At that moment Dr McCoy rounded the corner with Captain Kirk and the latter set about separating the two men.

“20, what happened?”

“I saw Khan inspecting the phaser on my belt and I tried to use it on him,” she lied gracefully “When he tried to explain himself I didn’t listen, so he kicked me. It didn’t keep me quiet enough because Commander Spock heard me scream and assumed that Khan had gone rogue.”

Unbelievably, her lie went right over Kirk’s head.

“There’s something you should know about Spock,” Khan said as his eyes fell on 20, quickly darting over to Kirk as McCoy put an arm under hers.

She could feel something unexpected in him: gratitude and an urge to protect something, but what?  Then something cut through it: a strong need to possess... but it wasn’t coming from Khan.

“There’s nothing you could tell me about him that I don’t already know?” Kirk said with seriousness in his face that hid deep-seated uncertainty.

“Listen to him Captain,” 20 said out of turn “If he wanted Spock and me dead why would he call Dr McCoy down here?”

Staring at Khan, Kirk walked closer to him and spoke again.

“What is it?”

“His exact words were ‘I’ll die if I don’t’,” Khan said as a smirk crept across his lips, his eyes on Spock.

Spock had begun edging toward McCoy and 20 slowly, but not enough that it escaped his keen eye.

“Last I checked Vulcan’s had a life span of 200 years, give or take. Then two words crossed my mind and I understood what he meant. He has begun the process of pon farr in which he must perform a ceremony and mate with a female who possesses a strong bond with him. In my mind, who would be better suited than the child he practically imprinted on?”

Kirk suppressed a shudder and stared at Spock, who looked very flustered and was scanning 20 with his eyes more than Dr McCoy had two hours ago.

“Khan, take her to Sick Bay while Dr McCoy and I help Spock,” Kirk said without a moment’s hesitation.

Khan looked at 20 and her eyes were pleading with him to help her. How could he ignore that face of innocence? She was the first human being who appreciated him for who he was, but then he wondered if it was simply for the sake of self preservation. Khan picked 20 up as if she were a baby or a bride; one arm went under her knees while the other was around her back.

“Why did you stop him?” she said automatically.

“I couldn’t let him do it and I don’t know why,” Khan admitted.

“You thought about someone other than yourself,” 20 said with a small smile.

Khan met her eyes and said “Don’t get used to it.”

Khan put 20 down just outside of Sick Bay and helped her limp over to the examination table.

“I’m not sorry about your leg,” Khan snapped so that he wouldn’t seem weak.

“But I’m sorry about your nose and what Spock did; feel bad yet?” she said as she laid herself out, rolling up the pants leg so her leg could be tended to.

“I don’t feel guilty when I know I did the right thing!”

“Then you’re wrong!” she said with certainty from the table, sitting up abruptly.

“I felt the guilt...”

Her voice trailed away as she recalled the sudden swing in his emotions when he had seen.

“... and only you know why,” she added with a sincere tone.

Khan reached out and pulled 20 closer to him, not caring about who might seem him close one large hand around the woman’s throat.  He lowered his voice to the point that only 20 could possibly hear him speak. She was already taking in shallow breaths to avoid an early death.

“You don’t know me 20,” Khan said with a menacing tone “I’d enjoy handing you over to Spock.”

“Then why don’t you prove it? Stay in here while Dr McCoy treats my leg. If you leave you tell me whatever it is that’s eating at you... deal?”

As Dr McCoy entered (without Spock), he only nodded once and moved away, his hands previous location going unnoticed by Dr McCoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many people are reading my crazy stories? Over 50? I must be dreaming...  
> If anybody has issues to point out of they have constructve criticism or WHATEVER else you need to say, please tell me in the comments so I know how to improve this story for a better reading experience! I have changed my layout and I want to know how it looks. By the way, smut is a VERY eventual occurence in this fic.


	6. The Truth Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 and Khan establsh a reason for his odd behaviour and it isn't easy to understand. Before they can delve any further into the bond they have begun to develop, Khan is called away to give Kirk information involving tactics and military skill.

Half an hour: he had been in the room for half an hour and already the pressure was mounting. He was standing at least five metres away from 20 and McCoy but he could see tears leaking from her eyes as the bones were set in the correct position. It had been a clean break rather than shattered, bony splinters. Khan had seen far worse than tears but the leg (covered in burns and with a considerable chunk missing) was in a worse condition than it had started. Unlike that bone however, he wouldn’t break like. Khan could stand there and watch this all day... but wouldn’t his honesty count for something? Perhaps he could revive his humanity and have a life with the three crew members they released? Yes, that sounded like something he wanted. He shook his head and sighed quietly. She really had changed his mind about who he was, but how? Her power stopped at reading emotions, feelings, and giving her own to another person. Then again, he had always wanted a family despite thinking that he was above others. Any of his fellow crewwomen would suffice as a mate. Then his mind wandered to 20. Could she be a worthy mate for him? She certainly had beauty and intelligence on her side, but her mind seemed focused on her job. How was that a negative? Why did he care? She wouldn’t want to be close to a man who was literally a monster... and that’s when he left the room. He knew what he had to say and surely she would think he was going mad. 20 heard the emotions in Khan rush around like busy bees, some of them moving toward the surface of his consciousness. The word that came to mind was confusion, a small shred of fear following close behind. 20 braced herself as Dr McCoy began to sew up her leg, one stitch at a time. He only used the anaesthetic for major surgeries and she would have to put up with a pain killer that left patients drowsy for an hour at the least, three at the most. With the stitches in and slowly dissolving into her skin, 20 hobbled back to her shared quarters wondering what Khan had to say. As she stood outside the door, her hand hovered above the small control panel. What if he was only going to finish what he started? Swallowing down her fear, 20 pressed a button and the doors opened. Khan was standing with his hands behind his back in a position reminiscent of someone in the military, his eyes transfixed on the stars as they whizzed by the window.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Khan,” she said as his head turned slightly to catch every word.

“I have to,” he said flatly as he turned to face 20 “Whether I want to or not. It could make the situation with Spock all the more dangerous depending on how he reacts.”

“Reacts to what?” 20 asked with her brow furrowed in confusion that mirrored his own.

“You made a face when you heard about Spock’s condition; nobody has ever looked at me like that. Your attitude annoys me as much as that immaturity you carry around and yet I‘m absolutely fascinated by it.”

Khan stepped closer to 20 and she kicked her phaser away. It sat nearer to the door should she need to leave the room in a hurry.

“I don’t know what it was that started it or if it was always there, but without explanation I’ve come to care for you in less than 24 hours."

Khan stopped himself and said "No, ‘care’ isn’t the right word...”

Khan trailed off as he thought of what he was trying to say.

“Its instinct,” 20 said quickly (and rather awkwardly) to avoid hearing what word would replace ‘care’.

“Your instincts are telling you to protect me because you knew Spock was up to something. It’s quite a primitive reaction but it is human nature.”

Khan laughed and her eyes shifted at his amusement.

“Why is logic so funny?” she asked as her brow furrowed again.

“You just don’t want me to say it, do you?”

“Say what?”

“I have feelings for you,” he said with a glance.

At that moment 20 was glad he couldn’t read minds otherwise he’d know just how many languages she could swear in. (In case you were wondering, its 4, including Klingon and English). The shock in her face was evident, but Khan didn’t seem worried at all. He just grinned with satisfaction and sat on the window’s edge, reading his book again.

“That’s the last one you know!” 20 said quickly, pointing at the book.

“You’ll have to read it the wrong way ‘round.”

Khan just moved the book up higher so that all she could see was his eyes.

“And stop smiling,” she teased with a cocked brow “You’ll scare Kirk half to death.”

Khan dropped the book and made a face that instantly made her regret having him as a roommate. His eyes were crossed and he was staring at her blankly.

“Oh God... don’t make that face either,” she laughed, returning to her own book.

As she lifted the book to her eyes, an alarm went off.

“Time to go,” she said with annoyance “They need help pointing guns and shooting.”

“Tactical information isn’t always about shooting a laser... you have to aim first.”

A hand grabbed onto 20’s shoulder and she tensed up.

“Thanks, I needed a heart attack.”

Khan placed his book on the table and followed 20 to the turbo lift and they headed to the floor indicated by Kirk. At least **something** had gone their way today.


	7. Surprises are Afoot on the Enterprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 and Khan arrive to meet with Captain Kirk, only to find that he has been apprehended by a hooded man...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so you know how you don't have internet for a while and you get really bored? That's why I churned out 3 or so chapters for this fic... these charaters have a dynamic that I want to explore before I let them become a fully fledged couple. One of these dynamics is the fact that Khan is a psychopath and 20 has to gain his trust fully... and vice versa.
> 
> Hopefully the humour in this chapter helps cut through the seriousness because (personally) I can't stand having a story without it.

Just before 20 walked into the room numbered exactly as Kirk had said in his note, she heard him call out to her from behind the door.

“20, run!”

When the doors slid apart, Khan and 20 could see that the room had been plunged into complete darkness. Someone had turned out the lights. The next ten seconds where a blur in 20’s mind. Khan turned on the room’s lighting to reveal Kirk – bound to a chair with wiring from Engineering – looking flushed from his failed attempts to escape his attacker. The attacker was wearing a heavy cloak and had their face covered to disguise themselves. Kirk obviously knew who they were, but Twenty was frozen on the spot as the man in his hooded cloak entered her peripheral vision. Khan lunged at him as he ran toward 20 at blinding speed, their bodies colliding. They fell to the floor and began a fistfight, giving 20 the opportunity to release Kirk from his seat.

“It’s Spock,” he said as 20 sliced the wiring with a pocket knife she carried around in case her phaser failed her.

“He was waiting for you both up here. Scotty walked in an hour ago and reminded me about the tactical meeting I had planned. Spock realised that he could kill two birds with one stone and tied me up because I said I wouldn’t help him.”

20 glanced over at the fight and saw that Spock had a nasty bruise developing on his cheek while Khan had scratch marks along his arm where fingernails had scratched his arm.

“He’s on our side,” 20 said quietly “don’t ask me why, but he is.”

“Kiss him,” Kirk said as if it was a major revelation.

20 had been waiting for a magnificent plan but instead she gave him a look of disapointment.

"Captain, that’s not what pon farr is ab–”

“Not him! Khan!” Kirk said, cutting off her train of thought.

“Why?”

“Spock might think twice if he believes you’re in love with him... Spock still has humanity at the very least.”

20 shook her head and the wackiest idea popped into it almost immediately.

“I can't do that. I have an idea... you need to trust me,” she whispered.

“20...”

20 looked back at Kirk as she stood, waiting for the rest of his sentence, but it never came.

He nodded as if giving her permission to put the plan into action and she winked at him.   

“Spock,” 20 said as he was about to deliver a blow to Khan that would put his lights out “I’ll do whatever you want... just let them go.”

Spock lifted the hood over his head and stared at her hard, as if deliberating her decision in his mind. It seemed far too easy to gain her compliance.

“Please,” she said as she forced herself not to sound needy, preferring to lead with her eyes.

“Follow me,” he said as he dropped Khan to the floor, his nose broken and blood leaking from the corner of his mouth.

20 gave a fearful, stiff wave to Khan and Kirk as the doors closed behind herself and Spock.

“We’re going to Holodeck 3. Nobody uses it anymore and my quarters aren’t suitable. You should be on Vulcan for this. You do understand what’s happening after the ceremony, don’t you?”

“Yes. I do.”

“Good... one less thing to worry about.”

His smile wasn’t as warming as it had been when they met. It seemed far more sinister. On top of that, he was as much her father as Chekov was her brother. This was incest in her mind and it sickened her as much as Khan’s overflowing hate. When they reached the Holodeck, Spock opened it with a code and they walked in. They were in a house on Vulcan, the vast expanse of the planet outside of their window. 20 became physically nauseas when she saw a bed to their right, stomach churning.  
“So... how long does this take exactly?”

“Not long at all...”

 

After the ceremony...

 

When the ceremony was over, 20 became frighteningly aware of what had to happen now. This was **definitely** not something they never covered at the Academy. Spock was by no means ugly... and he certainly didn’t look his thirty plus years, but it was still wrong. He put his hand on her cheek and reformed the mind meld, her plans were revealed in an instant.  
“You were lying,” he said in a hurt tone.

“You were going to program yourself into the Holodeck and leave me with nothing.”

“And you were going to screw the child you pulled from a burning ship: you tell me who’s more depraved Spock,” 20 said with genuine hatred.

A shockwave of pain ran down her neck from Spock’s hand. It left her cheek long enough for him to pull her wrists together. He used one strong hand to push them both tightly against the edge of the bed while the other ripped at her uniform, his fingernails scratching her skin.

“Spock, you can’t do this! Please,” she begged him, eyes full of tears.

“Liars don’t receive kind treatment on any planet 20... not even Vulcan.”

Her eyes widened. This wasn’t part of the plan. As if God himself had heard her silent pleas, Khan burst into the room and pulled Spock away from 20. She didn’t care if he saw Khan hold her against his chest as she had a small panic attack. She was just glad she didn’t have to look at his face for another second. Khan didn't say anythng as she shook like a leaf in his arms. He just held her close to make sure she was safe. He would make sure she stayed that way.

"The program is in my quarters,” 20 said when her shaking had finally stopped.

“Put Spock’s program for Vulcan onto another deck and put my program in as well. I need time alone to clear my head.”

Spock wasn’t leaving quietly, kicking at Sulu and Scotty who were trying to escort him to a room near to the Holodeck further down the hall. Kirk got the information and smiled at her. He knew that it must have been hell to think of the one person she trusted more than Chekov trying something so low...

“Let’s go,” Khan said as he stared hard at the doorway “before he comes for you again.”

“You need to see McCoy for sure,” she said weakly “I only need to change my uniform.”

“It’s only a broken nose,” he said as he turned away and a horrid cracking sound broke the silence.

“Wait, was that your...”

He turned around and the silent answer was this: yes, he had just snapped his nose back into the correct position using his own bare hands. Knowing that her uniform would be recycled anyway, 20 ripped some of it up and gave it to Khan to use to stop the bleeding. With some semblance of confidence, 20 walked ahead of Khan to a turbo lift.

As the doors closed she said “I don’t know about you, but I could kill for some sleep right about now.”

Khan looked at his feet and gave a lopsided smirk to his shoes. Now that he thought about it, her humour was the biggest positive of all.

 

Some Time After Dinner...

 

Khan had gone back to reading the book he had become engrossed in, even when it had begun drawling about relations between family and friends and walking. It wasn’t until he pondered 20’s interactions with Spock as a child that he understood her silence on the matter. While they had been eating he could see her throwing wary glances in Kirk’s direction, Spock sitting next to him. With each look her cheeks had lost their pink tinge, becoming more and more sickly. It wasn’t until she left the room and came back to her quarters that 20 managed to regain her composure. The **only** thing that bothered him was the silence. While her voice did have a high pitch to it, it wasn’t annoying enough that he disliked hearing it. When 20 put her book down and sat on the middle of the window seat, Khan put his book down and joined her, taking the far left end closest to his bed. Every once in a while (when he was certain she hadn’t noticed his movements) he would edge a little closer. At his height he had to fold up his left leg and let the other hang over the side, so 20 hadn’t known he was so close until he'd wrapped two longs arms around her shoulders. She leant back into him and suppressing a smile was almost impossible. Their eyes met and for a moment he was sure she wanted to kiss him. He held her gaze and before he was anywhere near her face 20 shifted herself away from him. She made her way back to the bed and laid down to read her book again. Khan watched her stare him down as if he was Spock and he couldn’t bear it.

“You know damn well that I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I... the last time I fell in love with someone they died,” 20 said with her knees pulled up toward her chin “That was the universe’s way of telling me not to trust people no matter how close they are to me.”

20 met his eyes and her teary ones made him realise who she was talking about.

“The incident with Spock only made it clearer... trust nobody,” she stated dimly as her eyes found a place on the couch to bore into.

“But you trusted Chekov.”

A tear streaked down 20’s cheek and she had to stare down at her feet to regain control over her emotions. He was calm and concerned but she was an emotional mess. Khan sat on the side of his bed closest to Twenty and listened to her story.

“I had a date one night and he never showed up. I was so upset I sat on the couch, just waiting for nothing. He came downstairs at my 10:30 curfew and there I was crying into my knees. He sat next to me and hugged me for at least a half hour. I told him was going to die alone as an elderly spinster and he kissed me. Things just sort of... changed after that.”

“So he made love to you on a couch?” Khan said with confusion and amusement lingering in his mind.

Twenty laughed despite the tears staining her cheek.

“Is that all you got out of it?” she asked him after making sure she'd heard him right.

“No,” he answered honestly “I know you’re hurting and I wouldn’t do anything that would affect you adversely... trust me.”

“You’re asking me to trust you after I found out you murdered millions of innocent people?” she said sarcastically with a grin.

Khan stood up and sat on the bed with 20, both of them sitting with their legs crossed. An idea popped into 20’s head and she held out a hand for Khan.

“Take it.”

When he did he was amazed. He could hear emotions as if they were voices in his head. There were literal whispers of sadness in 20, but her own voice sang out above the rest of them. It seemed that dominant emotions were given in the owner’s voice. She was saying ‘trust’, albeit rather quietly. Whatever he said in return must have been quite disarming because 20 stared at him, blushed and took her hand back.

“Did I say something?”

“Yes,” she said quickly “But nothing you need to worry about.”

“Then why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“You said ‘love’,” she answered shakily.

“So why are you worried? Do you think you’ll say the same thing too?”

“No... I just think it’s impossible to experience love at first sight.”

“What about Chekov?”

“Khan, I was five!” she said with a look of annoyance pasted across her face.

He chuckled and went into the bathroom. When he emerged he was in a black singlet that hugged his chiselled stomach and matching shorts that **just** made it to his knee. 20 was already in her clothing (obviously she rushed because when she turned over he could see the logo of a videogame company on her back) and facing him with her hand on the light switch.

“If you don’t get in you’ll have to wander around in the dark and knock into the end of the bed for a half hour,” she said knowingly.

“Your last roommate?”

“You know it,” she said before turning out the light.

Khan realised it was a prank when the light from stars outside the window shone into the room. They provided just enough of a natural glow to allow him to find the bed without stubbing his toes. 20 wasn't so bad once he got past her quirks.


	8. Bad Dreams Make for a Good Nights Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 has a nightmare and Khan is there to bring her back into a calmer state of mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the short chapter but with a sudden influx of readers I needed to bring the romance into the story before we all died of boredom... thank me later! XD

20 found that sleeping was the one thing she excelled at in comparison to the other crewmembers on the Enterprise. All the stupid things she wanted to say, well... she said them. When it came time to sleep her head was empty and she could just relax. However, that was any other night of the year. Somewhere on this ship Spock could be after her. He might even be outside the door. When she did fall asleep at long last, Khan woke up. In truth, he hadn’t even gone to bed. It was literally in his DNA to require a minimum amount of food, water and sleep to survive. He had heard 20 breathing deeply to calm her nerves, heard her get up and walk around the door, talk to herself and – at one point – berate herself for pressing her ear to the door to see if Spock was outside. She was fearful and he understood that. Anyone would be when they are forced into intercourse: the four letter word that crossed his mind actually made him shudder. Perhaps the fear had consumed her mind to the point that she had become afraid of everyone assigned to the male sex? No. She couldn’t be. If she was then he would have heard it in her thoughts. Just like her sadness it was a whisper. 20 had put her trust in him and he wasn’t about to do anything to jeopardise that. While he watched her peaceful slumber, Khan saw her twitch. He thought nothing of it until she started to say something.

“Stop... please... leave me alone!” she beckoned someone in her dream.

 “No!”

“20?” he said quietly, his arm bridging the gap between their beds to touch her arm.

“Wake up!” he said a little louder.

20 woke with a start and sat bolt upright, breathing hard. He turned on the light, sat up himself and saw sweat beading across her forehead as if she’d run a marathon.

“Oh God,” she said as she ran a hand over her chin to her mouth “I was dreaming.”

“20?”

20 looked at Khan and sat up on her hands, her head dipping forward as she calmed her nerves. He shouldn’t have to watch her in such a depressive state. 20 hated the feeling of vulnerability, especially when she had four walls and a man with raging lust closing in around her. 

“I’m fine,” she lied “It was just a nightmare. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Khan grabbed onto her arm so she would look up at him and 20 tried to slap it away. He let go as if she’d burnt him and remembered that being gentle had never really been part of his nature. 20 sighed and motioned for him to join her.

“I’m sure you can fit in somewhere.”

Realising that he might take it as a sexual innuendo, 20 quickly cleared it up. However, that just made her mistake all the more obvious.

“On the bed I mean,” she added.

“Calm down,” Khan said as he sat next to her, hip to hip.

He lifted an arm and put it around 20’s back so that she could lay back on it. She slowly leant into him in case he was uncomfortable but Khan had no complaints, so she let her head rest against his chest. Her own personal human pillow for the night. Khan looked down at 20 and decided against a kiss, considering the likely content of her nightmare. Instead he brushed her long hair behind her ears and gave quick peck to the top of her head. To his surprise she let an arm rest across his stomach and glanced up at him with a sleepy smile. Not goofy or comical though; a sad, sleep depraved smile that almost broke his heart to see.

“Get some sleep 20,” he urged her.

After a quick, quiet yawn she said “What about you?”

“I’m not tired.”

20 sat up and faced Khan, kissing him on the cheek quickly.

“Goodnight,” she said with a sweet smile.

20 nestled back into the gap between his arm and his ribcage, leaving him to sit up and fall asleep. Somehow it wasn’t as bad as he imagined it would be. All he could think of now was the cell Kirk had put him in that same morning. Sleeping on the bed in there would be far less comfortable than sleeping next to 20 who (thankfully) only breathed loudly rather than snored. But the question of how long could this last remained to be answered. He felt sure Spock wouldn’t be an issue after mating with 20’s hologram decoy, but he honestly doubted she would see it that way.


	9. Being Misunderstood Has Consequences (Both Good and Bad)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 performs her duty as a Technician and manages to appreciate Khan for his intelligence, among other traits he posesses.  
> Spock asks 20 to dine with him on a Holodeck.  
> There is a kiss and lots of anger builds up in a short amount of time: who is now angrier than ever before?  
> Here's the hint... not 20.

20 was awake, confused to see Khan back in his own bed. He had stayed with her most of the night but eventually he was sick of watching her sleep and decided that they needed to separate at some point so that he could do the same. 20 made her way to the bathroom and brushed her hair quickly, putting on her fully repaired uniform with the same haste. Something in her head seemed dissatisfied with her hair down and told her to put it up: she always listened to that voice because it kept her out of harm’s way most of the time. Khan was on the other side of the door doing the same, but he didn’t rush like 20. Just as he took off his singlet (and he always put his pants on first to avoid embarrassing 20, though he felt sure she wouldn’t mind) 20 opened the door to the bathroom and stared at him. Her eyes said that she appreciated what she saw – a chiselled chest and stomach with lean, muscular arms to follow – but her face said that she was unimpressed with his display of human ‘perfection’.

“Morning,” 20 said as she made her way to her badge that was sitting on the small coffee table.

The slight blush in her cheeks was a definite confirmation; she did like what she saw and it was likely to annoy her all day. Khan put his shirt on and did it up by the time 20 had laced her badge back onto her uniform and recalled her timetable. It was six thirty and she went on duty at ten past seven, so she had plenty of time to eat breakfast with Khan and show him Engineering before shift began. A full two hours today... the ‘Two Hour Torture’ her ex-roommate Jennie Carter had called it. A replicator three levels down was producing drinks with the incorrect colours, a Holodeck that made it seem as though half the room was made of water and programs randomly combining to create monstrous creatures. This was going to be a long day if it turned out anything like yesterday.

 

Four hours later...

 

Her shift had ended two hours ago and yet 20 chose to work until the problems were solved and the bugs had been fixed. Perhaps she liked her job too much? No, she just hated to leave a job half way to finished. Khan kept following her to each job without question and always amazed her by passing her the correct equipment. It paid to have someone with you who knew what you needed, when you needed it. She didn’t dwell on that line of thought for long because it had started to distract her. There was seemingly no end to 20’s jobs and having him around during her work  on the Holodecks meant he could test out her work. He took particular enjoyment in fighting a part-cat part-man hybrid. A female crew member (who 20 was unable to name) missed her partner and her cat, so she had someone program them onto a Holodeck which mimicked her home on Earth. The ensuing chaos was a man’s torso with a cat’s upper body that licked his human legs. Needless to say Khan had left the room in a state that could only be described as possible insanity, especially when his laughing was taken into consideration. He was leaning against the wall beside 20’s legs as he let the laughter continue for a solid 30 seconds. (Her legs were all that could be seen because the rest of her was working on repairing the programs board hidden behind panels covering the circuits). After a few tweaks to the complicated circuitry and an okay from 20, Khan entered the Holodeck to find a man with a cat in his lap. Khan said nothing but the man smiled and waved while the cat gave a content purr. When the program ended he was left in an empty room as 20 came limping in.

“What’s wrong?” 20 said when she felt his confusion “Did it cough up a hairball?”

Khan shook his head to say no as a grin played at the corner of his mouth. He turned around and 20 heard a small sound issue through her badge.

A wire had come out of place again, so she gave it a hit like a troublesome mosquito and then said “Go ahead,” after giving it another quick tap.

“Can I speak with you in private Ensign?” Spock said through the badge.

Khan shot 20 a strange look that was laced with anger. He knew she had her reservations but he didn’t have the time to voice his opinions because Spock had more to say.

“Perhaps we could speak about yesterday over a meal? I have to thank you properly.”

“Holodeck 4... I’ll choose the venue if 7:30 suits you?”

“Make it 8. See you then 20,” he answered with a smile.

“Eight,” she repeated to confirm it.

The badge made a flickering sound that told her Spock was no longer on her channel and she tapped the badge to cut off all communications.

“You can’t go 20,” Khan said almost immediately “You’re too vulnerable on your own.”

“And I haven’t told you what I’m doing yet, have I?” 20 said, clearly disappointed.

“I trust you but **you** don’t trust me at all.”

“What is your plan then? Cry into your meal and tell him it wasn’t you in the room? He’d rip you to shreds or do something far worse!”

“I’ll program a mirror into the room somewhere. It’ll be one way glass; we won’t even know you’re there.”

“Show me when you get the chance,” he said a little more calmly “And don’t give yourself away.”

“That’s the **only** thing I’m going to worry about,” 20 said as they walked out of the Holodeck.

“But I think a shower is in order,” she said with a lopsided grin.

Her clothes were dusty and her hair was quite messy, but Khan knew she wanted to look presentable at dinner. As far as he was concerned she looked beautiful no matter what state her hair happened to be in. As they stood in the turbo lift, 20 caught sight of Spock walking quickly toward them, her eyes trained on him as she told the lift to take them to their floor. The doors closed just before he got there and 20 realised that she was going to need nerves of steel to give a believable performance.

  
Later that night...

  
20 led Khan into the simulation and his clothing changed from his uniform to a formal black suit complete with a tie, lace up shoes and a white shirt. He hated to admit it to himself, but he liked it. 20 looked like a goddess with her long hair flowing over her shoulders, the floral pattern on her long dress hiding her legs from sight. The program was an accurate copy of 20’s room, but the layout had been changed around so that the beds were not in the room at all and a mirror that hung on the wall was put in place of the bathroom door. Khan spotted the mirror in the corner of 20’s room and went inside mere seconds before Spock walked in; he was wearing a traditional garb from Vulcan that he was mentally sniggering at from behind the mirror. Much to his dismay he couldn’t hear anything from inside as they sat and began to eat. Throughout the conversation 20 had a light blush on her face as if Spock was complimenting her on something. The program was based on her design, so it was entirely possible that what her program had done with Spock reflected her behaviour in real life.

“Why do you care?” he whispered to himself as 20 laughed at a jibe Spock had made.

The longer he watched their interactions the more he wanted to leave the small box 20 had stationed him in and strangle Spock to death. When 20 became pale and Spock put out a hand to ask her if she was alright, he remembered the effect his anger had on her. Khan looked away from Spock and 20 for the sake of their relationship. If something was supposed to happen between himself and 20 he didn’t want to jeopardise whatever slim chance he had. His love shouldn’t have to be one-sided if he could help it. Supposing it did, he’d be just as bad as Spock... but he wouldn’t let himself become that. Looking back at Spock, he let himself calm down to the point that his eyes fell solely on 20. If he couldn’t change for **them** he would change for **her**. As if sensing the shift in his emotions, 20 stared at the mirror for a moment and her smile widened, colour returning to her cheeks. Now the next part of her plan would finish this dinner on a happier note or (at the very least) a forgiving one.

“Spock,” 20 said as she quickly glanced at her untouched wine in its glass “If I share something with you, will you promise never to use it against me?”

“Of course,” he said promptly “But I doubt the same could be said of Khan.”

“Take my hand,” she said as she extended a hand toward him.

Spock took it and his face fell as their eyes met, lost in the sounds. Words were filling his mind, but 20 was saying one of them quite clearly.

 _Fear._ She said it loudly enough for him to hear but her lips didn’t move.

 _Fear._ It got quieter, a loud whisper against the other voice that was overpowering it.

 _Fear._ It had become a breeze against the new word that took its place.

 _Gratitude._ Her fear was barely anything compared to the sound of her voice in his ear.

She was probably grateful that he had treated her so kindly after being forceful in Holodeck 3. That was where her fear had originated from, surely? He hadn’t done anything wrong after that, had he? No. She was showing him that she forgave his previous actions. Standing to his feet, Spock pulled 20 to his chest gently and gave her a hug.

“I would never use this against you,” he said into her ear before holding her at arm’s length “Fear is what keeps us out of danger and I swear what happened on Holodeck 3 will never become a reality again. But if you ever want to get away from Khan, yesterday night can happen all over again.”  
  
20 was frozen on the spot, forcing a blush.

“I’ll think about it,” she said with a smile, pressing a button at her hip.

The mutant man-cat appeared and she gave a command for the computer to shut down the program. Their clothing returned to normal and Khan was nowhere to be seen.

“I’d better fix that glitch. You need to get out of here before it pops up again because that weird hybrid had us in laughing fits this morning.”

“Us?” Spock said with a hint of confusion.

“Yes,” she said with an expression of surprise “Apparently Khan knows how to laugh. He had to follow me and somehow I managed to keep him in his place.”

“Probably feminine charm,” he said quietly as he walked away down a hall.

She could feel Khan’s blood boiling from outside the room and as she walked in her hand hit him in the stomach, **hard**.

“Can you act like a grown man for five minutes instead of acting like Spock stole your favourite plaything?”

“He tried to steal much more than that!” Khan said as he popped back into her line of sight.

Giving him the cloaking program to attach to his belt was an ingenious idea and she could thank her lucky stars that it worked.

“I trust him... why don’t you?”

“I don’t like the way he was staring at you.”

“You looked at me the same way, so what’s the problem?” she countered.

“I... it doesn’t matter,” Khan said as he walked toward the door.

“Computer, lock the doors on Holodeck 4.”

Khan stopped at her words, staring down at the floor as his fists clenched.

“Whatever you have to say 20, I don’t want to hear it,” Khan said as he turned around.

20 was standing right before him and he narrowly missed out on crushing her toes. She cupped his cheeks and brought his lips down to hers. Khan let his hands move around 20’s back as he deepened the kiss, the tension between them breaking into a million pieces. 20 pushed gently against Khan’s chest when she felt a shift somewhere on the ship. Spock knew it was a simulation with him on the second Holodeck. Khan let her go when he felt her tense.

“Spock knows I wasn’t there when he... let’s just say he’s mighty pissed.”

One word escaped Khan’s mouth and it made her want to laugh.

“Shit,” came his defeated reply.


	10. It All Came Down To This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the dinner is something nobody but Khan and 20 expected.  
> The worst has happened and now 20 must deal with the physical and mental scars left by her ordeal with Spock.

Spock sat down in his quarters and his mind went to the previous night. 20 had tears in her eyes when he tried to rip her clothes off but when he went into the second Holodeck she seemed afraid. For the entirety of their meal she had been as vague about what had happened as possible. Then it hit him. Khan had put the thought that he was some kind of sexual predator into her head and he wanted evidence. Spock felt a twinge in his limbs and he knew it even before he saw the video feed in the Holodeck. 20 had been lying. Foremost in his mind was the fact that it hadn’t been her with him when they completed the process. If she was he wouldn’t be feeling so... lost?  No, he was infuriated. He felt violated. Now he had to sit and watch Khan runs his hands over 20 in a sickening display of affection. 20 broke away from Khan and she appeared faint. She looked at him and Khan didn’t seem too pleased with what they’d done. Spock’s anger blazed and 20 fell to her knees, hyperventilating in front of his eyes on the screen. Khan was calling out for help and Spock was already on the move. He had a window of opportunity and he was going to use it. They would both pay for their lies. He began to walk faster.

“Spock is coming for us,” 20 said as she pressed a hand to the side  of her head “And he’s in a rage. He’s out for blood.”

Khan could hear 20’s voice shake and he grabbed her arm.

“We have to...”

Khan stopped himself from saying run. With 20’s leg in the condition it was, there was no chance they could outrun a physically fit Commander Spock. He was lightning fast and he knew this from experience.

“... hide and stay hidden,” she finished for him.

“We can’t stay here... where can we go that he wouldn’t follow us?” Khan said as their brains worked overtime.

“Prison cells,” she said with a smile “Only Kirk and a couple of the other officers in charge of security know the passcode, including me. We lock ourselves in and he can punch the glass for hours until his hands bleed.”

20 made her way to the door and said “Computer, unlock the doors on Holodeck 4.”

As soon as the doors opened in front of her she wanted to scream. Spock was in the doorway and he grabbed at her hip, pulling out her pocket knife. Why had she left it out in the open like that?

“Hello 20,” he said with a smile that made her stomach lurch “I believe you have some explaining to do?”

“It’s nothing you don’t already know Spock,” she said with what little energy she had.

The doors slid shut and Spock used his own phaser to electrocute the control panel inside the Holodeck. Not only were they locked in, but the scene from earlier appeared, causing Khan to become invisible.

“Where is he?” Spock demanded as he threw the knife away from himself in frustration.

“Khan isn’t here,” she lied “It’s just you and me like you wanted.”

“You’re lying to me 20,” he said sharply “You gave him a cloaking program but I know how to deal with that.”

Spock thrust an arm out and tugged hard on 20’s dress, pulling her to his side. Changing the phaser’s beam so that it would harm Khan and short circuit the program, Spock pulled the trigger and let it run across the Holodeck’s walls. When the beam hit Khan, he appeared out of nowhere and fell to the floor.

“Khan!” 20 shouted, struggling against Spock’s strong arms “Spock, let go of me!”

He lowered his head to her ear and tossed the phaser away, whispering a single word into her ear.

“Never.”

“What happened to ‘not using my fear against me’?” she said in the hopes that she could appeal to his rational side “I could never lay in a bed with you because I’m afraid of what you might do. Pon farr isn’t about love... it’s about lust.”

Spock was enraged and threw 20 down hard, her legs disagreeing with the sudden jolt. Her leg hadn’t properly healed yet and she was expected to fight off a fully grown Vulcan male in the throes of pon farr. Her fate was sealed: he would take what was rightfully his and she would be a mess. Spock sat across 20’s thighs and pulled her up so that they were eye to eye. She looked away and he snatched at her chin, pulling her face close to his.

“Don’t look away!”

20 grudgingly met his eyes and she forced her fear to spring into his mind. Spock just rubbed his temple for a moment, releasing her head to do so. She looked away immediately and regretted it soon afterward. Spock saw her defy his wishes and decided to take action. Rather than grabbing her chin and using a forceful kiss to assume dominance, Spock dug his hands into one of 20’s shoulders and pulled her flush against his chest. Once again she turned her head and unknowingly did exactly what he wanted her to do. His lips fastened themselves to a patch of skin at the junction of her neck and shoulder, sucking hard. 20 was thrashing which only made him work harder to keep his lips there. When he was done 20 had a brown and purple bruise the length of her pinkie and the width of her middle and ring fingers. By this time her throat had become dry, but not enough to stop her from sobbing. Spock had enjoyed marking her but now he had to claim 20 as his own. His hands ran up her leg (only hidden by the floral dress) and brushed over her horrific scars. It should have sickened him but his mind wasn’t on her deformity, it was thinking of everything else about her. His hands stopped at her thigh as he leaned into her and kissed her for the first time. Not only had be bruised her neck and shoulder, but now he had somehow managed to leave faint marks on her lips as well.

“I don’t love you,” she spat when Spock finally let her breathe, tears staining her cheeks.

“Who then? Kirk?”

“Try again,” she retorted firmly, not wanting to go down without a fight.

“Khan?” Spock said in genuine confusion “You’re in love with a monster like **him**?”

“Better him than **you**.”

Spock forgot about the possibility of Khan waking up and ripped 20’s underwear down over her knees. He unzipped his fly hurriedly and got into position, his body pressed closely to hers, flesh meeting at the juncture between her thighs.

“No!” she screamed.

“You don’t have a choice in this anymore.”

20 screamed herself hoarse mere minutes after it started. She was reduced to silent crying as Spock claimed her body. The man who had saved her life had begun to rape her while someone she cared about – loved possibly even loved – was out cold in a corner. _At least he doesn’t have to watch this..._ With that thought swirling around in her head, 20 blacked out. Apparently fate saw no reason for her to witness the rest.

 

Some Time Later...

 

20 was feeling sore all over when she finally woke up. The pains were worst in her arms and unmentionable places. She tried to sit up but her ribs were too bruised to allow it.

“I’d stay laid out for another hour or two before you move about,” said a very feminine voice.

20 blinked hard to get the blur out of her eyes. In front of her stood a woman with straight black hair and a uniform in the same colour as Dr McCoy’s.

“Where’s Dr McCoy?” she said apprehensively.

“Waiting for me to tell him that you’re awake,” the woman responded “I am a nurse. Dr McCoy tends to call me in for situations in which the male sex causes unnecessary stress on a female patient. He kept me on staff for the birthing of children but your case called for my presence. Can I let him back into Sick Bay?”

“Of course,” 20 said as she finally sat up.

She noted that her clothes had been replaced with a white t-shirt and black pants from her casual clothing back in her room. McCoy walked in and said thank you to the woman before telling her to take the day off. 20 looked to her right for the first time to see Spock laid out on another table, pale and covered in bruises. His exposed leg had scars running around the sides just like hers. Someone had broken his leg and it didn’t take a genius to know that it was...

“Where is Khan?” 20 asked in a small panic.

“He’s fine,” McCoy said as he took a cautious step toward 20 “But you need to rest your body for at least 13 hours.”

“How did I get here?” she said a bit more calmly.

“Khan brought you in and your clothes were ripped up so I sent in a nurse who has worked in Midwifery,” McCoy said firmly “I didn’t think you’d enjoy having me around while you were out for the count.”

“And I appreciate that, but I don’t need pity. I want this pon farr crap to be over!”

Her last sentence made McCoy take a step back. She was scared and angry and he didn’t want to make things worse.

“Is there anything I need to take back to my quarters?”

“No,” he said as he stepped close to 20 again “But I did take the liberty of making sure you didn’t conceive. I don’t mean to get personal, but did I make the right choice?”

20 lowered her feet to the ground and nodded slowly.

“Who else knows about Spock?” she said with a glassy appearance in her eyes that came from the build up of tears.

“Kirk, Khan of course, myself, the nurse wouldn’t tell a soul and Scotty figured it out on his own,” the doctor said in what seemed to be surprise.

“That’s where the black eye came from,” McCoy said as he pointed to Spock.

“Is he dead or unconscious?”

“He’s in an induced coma,” McCoy told her “Kirk has to decide what happens to him after the incident and I’d say it involves one hell of an apology.”

“Well... thank you,” 20 said as her mind became almost numb.

“Khan’s waiting outside for you,” McCoy said with a smile as 20 walked past him “I don’t know what you did but he’s pacing the hallway as if he’s waiting for his firstborn.”

20 nodded despite wanting to kick McCoy for the joke and walked out into the hallway. Something felt off about her legs and 20 couldn’t quite place it. They felt... heavier somehow. Khan was walking toward her and she could feel his anger grow a little at the sight of her. Why wouldn’t he be? Khan sped up when he was a couple of metres away and threw his arms around her and 20 did the same.

“I’ll take you back... unless you want to walk around for a while?” Khan asked, speaking directly into 20’s ear.

“I’d rather go back,” she said weakly, amazed by his compassion.

“I couldn’t look at Spock’s face even if I wanted to.”

With this admission Khan released 20 and she began walking to her right when Khan called out to her.

“Your room is the other way,” Khan said from around the corner “They moved you.”

20 walked back and stared at him in surprise.

“Is he still that much of a threat?” she asked as worry wormed its way into her thoughts.

“No,” he said honestly “But it wouldn’t help your mental scars to heal i he came to visit you one morning to give an apology, would it?”

20 just nodded as they began walking in the opposite direction for a whole 10 metres to a room with the same layout as her old one. The only difference was the addition of a two glasses of iced water sitting on the table between the two beds and a flower in a pot that had been placed on the coffee table. 20 went to her bed and noticed that her pillow was sticking up at one corner, so she lifted it to find a note on an electronic pad.

_I am here for you.  I will be by your side when you need me there. But until then, I will wait on my bed with a book. It seems that – while we are starting from two ends of the same series – we could easily read the Hobbit together. It will be our unexpected journey._

20’s eyes watered. Had she really changed him this much in 2 days? It was impossible and yet here was the proof. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, 20 walked past Khan (who had gone back to reading Lord of the Rings on his own bed), and sat on the window ledge with her knees bent, body pressed into one corner. She stayed there most of the night, finally getting up when she felt her rear end go numb. 20 ventured over to the bathroom with her pyjamas and closed the door behind her. In the mirror 20 saw her black and blue shoulders. When the cloth ran over the bruises she hissed in pain. Her eyes were slightly puffy from the river of tears and her throat felt quite sore due to her incessant cries and screams. Worst of all was the pain she felt that couldn’t be seen. He’d done internal damage and she knew it was going to be difficult to deal with, both physically and mentally. Then it hit her like a tonne of bricks, cutting through her depressive state. She knew what was different about her leg...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for such a gruelling chapter, but I did the research and this path was unavoidable.  
> However, I certainly plan on giving this story the happy ending that it deserves.


	11. Life is the Funniest Thing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 isn't sure what to do. She has what she's always wanted; to love, but it had come at the cost of her playful personality.  
> A crewmember decides to make themselves known and cause a scene. Who will come out on top?

20 analysed her leg (now that she could actually call it that). The flesh was healing before her very eyes: the raised surgical scars were flattening, the depression where a large chunk of muscle and tendon had been removed was fully filled out and she realised that she would no longer have to limp around the ship. _But how is that_ _possible? Surely if McCoy had fixed my leg he would have told me in case there were side affects?_ 20 rushed to put on a pair of shorts she had hidden away, having made the joke that the day someone saw her in these was the day she would most probably go to heaven. Now 20 couldn’t help but think she was close enough to it. Taking a deep breath, 20 opened the bathroom door and placed her uniform on the empty floor beside her bed. She was purposely sitting above the blankets so that Khan could see her leg and waited for him to crack. After ten minutes (and her curiosity getting the better of her) 20 stared at Khan hard and finally made brief eye contact with him.

“I’m afraid that you don‘t have superpowers just because your leg is healed,” he teased, eyes peering over the top of his book.

“How did McCoy do it?” she asked a little too eagerly.

“Nobody on Earth knew how to deal with burns as severe as mine. The best they could do was give me salves to flatten the scars a bit but even that stopped working after a while.”

“Nobody on Earth had access to myself and Dr McCoy, did they?” he smirked, letting his knee support his arm and the book it held.

“So you put a psychopath and a mad scientist together and what... found a cure in a couple of hours?” 20 said with heavy sarcasm.

“No. McCoy used my blood to save Kirk after he was irradiated. He’d already done it once before and I asked him to do it again. Those bruises will be gone in a day or two at worst.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

Khan almost dropped his book at 20’s words. Why **did** he? Then it hit him.

“When I spoke to the Captain some time ago, I told him that the 72 men and women in those cryogenic chambers were the people I held most dear. I did terrible things to bring them back...”

Khan’s voice trailed away as a tear fell down his cheek, his eyes flickering to the bed sheets for a moment.

“... and now there are 73. This time I think I've done the right thing.”

Overcome with an emotional avalanche, 20 felt fear, anger, grief, despair, and love all flow from Khan. He had been in a horrible place but she had brought him out of it. Now he was returning the favour.

“You did,” 20 said as she stood up and slowly pushed the book down to the bed.

“And that’s all anybody on this ship could ask for,” she added.

20 held Khan’s eyes and sat on the edge of his bed. She expected him to move away shyly but instead he let the book fall out of his hand and hit the floor with a muffled thud. He grabbed onto her hands and brought them up to his lips, kissing one of them tenderly. Khan’s hands pulled her toward him lightly and when she stiffened, he let go.

“I’m sorry,” 20 said as she looked down toward the bed.

“Why are you apologising?” Khan asked her, completely bewildered.

“Uniform,” came her saddened reply.

For some reason she suddenly felt like beating at his chest, like screaming for him to leave her alone... it wasn't his fault.  
  
And it wasn't hers either.

“Wait here,” Khan said quietly, walking brusquely into the bathroom.

When he left, he was in the black singlet and shorts she had seen yesterday night. Khan sat with his back against the thin headboard and opened an arm for 20. She let his arm move around her shoulder and when he touched a bruise she tried to hold in her hisses.

“Ow!” she said after a few seconds of discomfort “Mind if I sit myself down?”

Khan looked a bit uncomfortable about the idea but he wasn’t about to argue - she could undoubtedly hold her own in a verbal fight. 20 looked at the space she had to work with on the bed and noted quite quickly that the only ‘space’ to speak of was between Khan’s long, lanky legs. Turning herself around so that her back faced Khan, 20 carefully lowered herself down between his thighs, trying hard not to brush up against him.

“Will you be okay there?” Khan said, uncertainty taking over his thoughts.

“I’m with you aren’t I?” 20 replied, leaning toward him for a split second to get support; she soon decided against it.

Khan sat a hand on 20’s arm where he saw no bruises and began to rub it slowly, coercing her tired body to lean against him. It hadn’t been long before her head rested on his chest. Khan absentmindedly stroked her hair and made her laugh when his long fingers got stuck in her curls.

“What time is it?” 20 asked with closed eyes, pullng his pinkie out of a ringlet.

“Half past one,” Khan said as she opened them.

“Oh... well I’d better head over to my bed then,” she said with another sleepy smile.

“Goodnight,” Khan said before making a face which was unmistakably begging 20 for a kiss.

20 stood near him and leant down, lingering for a moment, their lips waiting to touch, but she felt her face drop. She couldn't do it and she had wanted to.

“I... um, goodnight,” she whispered, her breath warming his lips for a moment.

Sliding his foot toward himself, Khan released 20 from her confines and she went to her own bed, turning out the light as her legs slipped under the blankets and sheets. It didn’t take long to fall asleep knowing Khan was a whole metre and a half away, likely to be awake. But another part of her shivered to think that he was watching her sleep.

 

The Next Morning...

 

20 woke up the next morning with bags under her eyes, seemingly unscathed by her ordeal yesterday. Khan hadn’t told her, but he had seen the bruises and the blood... the pain was unimaginable in his mind. While she went into her room to get dressed, Khan put on his own uniform even faster than he had the morning before. He didn’t know why, but his instincts told him it was better to get 20 used to seeing it again. 20 left the bathroom and froze for a moment, wondering where Khan had gotten to when she saw the man in her room. When Khan turned around, he saw 20 go as pale as the tiles in her bathroom and tilted his head a little to register what had scared her into such a state. The only thing he had forgotten was the fact that he and Spock didn’t look much different from behind with their lanky figures, astounding height and black hair. Khan put his clothes back onto the bed and acted as if nothing had happened. By giving away that he had panicked it would only worsen her anxiety.

“Good Morning,” he said in a flat tone “Nice legs.”

20 was barely paying attention and her anxiety mounted.

“Um... thanks?” she said cautiously, an awkward look of disbelief on her face.

They walked down to breakfast in relative silence, occasionally broken by other crew members who were headed in the same direction. To 20’s delight (thought she didn’t voice it) Khan had ended up in a conversation with someone about the tactical information he had involving Klingon ships and a various array of weaponry he could develop for the ship. The moment they entered the galley, the group behind them became silent. The people conversing inside the galley looked at 20 and fell silent also; now she was left to wonder if they knew something about Spock’s actions. Spock was at a table right next to one of the available ones and 20 stayed as far from it as physically possible. Khan secured a seat two tables away and somehow 20 found it hard to breathe, even at this distance.

“Just fix your eyes on something else,” Khan said while he looked over 20’s shoulder at Spock.

“I should be saying the same to you,” 20 said, managing to shovel a spoonful of wheat-based cereal into her mouth reluctantly.

If she didn’t eat she got the feeling that Khan would force it down her throat. He was certainly gaunter than her, but it wasn’t as if she was shapely, or even slightly chubby. She couldn’t afford to lose any weight, otherwise she might trip and smash into a million pieces.

“Why is everyone staring at me?” 20 said after a while, turning her neck to look over at some of the men and women on the Technician’s team designated Beta under her command.

Khan quickly understood where the stares were concentrated and yanked hard on the arm of 20’s closest to him. The other had been on the back of her chair, allowing her to get a good view of the people in the room. She responded by yanking back the one in his grasp and causing a small scene.

“What?!” she said under her breath in frustration and a trace of fear.

“Your neck,” Khan replied as he moved his eyes in a jerky fashion, indicating the left side of her neck.

20 touched it and her hand moved back as she gasped in pain. 20 made a face that only read as horror, quickly pulling her shirt upward in an effort to hide the bruises. Spock looked at 20 with sadness and then back at his morning meal, obviously ashamed. Khan knew that 20 could feel his pain because a few tears had fallen into her coffee. A woman walked over to the table and slapped him openhandedly across the face, the smacking sound echoing around the room. Spock and Kirk looked up from their food, as did every other person in the room. A few men clapped, but a murderous stare from Kirk made them pause, falter and silence themselves lest they be jettisoned into space. He would only interfere when Khan or his assailant got out of hand. For now, it was merely a confrontation.

“You should have been left in the deep freeze for eternity after what you did!” shouted an angry looking blonde.

Khan raised a hand to his cheek where he felt a tiny sting, realising who had just disgraced him in front of the crew; Carol Marcus.

“Carol, please...” 20 begged the woman beside her.

“Don’t say another word,” Carol said with a feminine forcefulness 20 couldn't contend with.

“I’m sure he’s caused you enough pain already with bites like that!”

Now people were whispering amongst themselves, trying to figure out why Khan would even consider intimate acts such as a ‘love’ bite if he thought of it as something done by lesser humans. Spock was trying his hardest not to get out of his chair and scream that he had done it. Kirk could see it in his eyes and 20 felt it. A crude voice in her mind said _I hope you cried until your eyes were red and swollen._

“I had rather hoped to apologise for what I did to your father when I returned to Earth, but it seems my plan has failed. It’s obvious now that the only thing you’d enjoy is seeing me die.”

Khan looked at the phaser on Carol’s belt and nodded to it as he spoke.

“Go on,” he said in a mocking tone “Use it. Then when the truth comes out you’ll weep twice as much as you did for your father.”

“That’s not an apology!” Carol pushed, her teeth clenching together tightly.

“Carol,” 20 said loudly, her anger catching Carol’s attention “he hasn’t done anything to me that warrants your behaviour.”

Carol turned her eyes to 20 and the latter was inwardly cursing her stupidity.

“If you let us explai – aaah!”

As Carol threw a hefty punch at 20, her arms made a protective ‘x’ across her upper body. When there was no pain, not even an ache from the punch, she lowered her arms. Khan had grabbed on to Carol’s forearm and was whispering something into her ear while she faced him, staring defiantly into his changing eyes. As she began to cry, Khan looked up at 20 and quickly scanned the crowd. He held his composure and pulled Carol toward him as he had done with 20, the woman immediately melting into him as if saying that she forgave him. For a moment the men and women around 20 let their jaws fall to the floor, but she and Kirk were more than impressed. Sneaking a glance in his direction, Kirk gave a grin and a nod to 20 who froze when she made eye contact with Spock. Carol said something under her breath and left Khan to walk back to his chair. The others who had been standing or had gotten away from their chairs entirely seated themselves once more, taken aback by Khan’s ‘human’ actions. One of Carol’s friends left the room and followed after her in an awkward hurry, almost tripping over 20 in the process.

“Are you jealous?” Khan jibed.

He had seen her mouth hang open earlier and couldn’t help but ask.

“No... but I am trying to figure something out. What did you say to Carol to make her cry?”

“Don’t make the same mistakes that I did,” Khan repeated.

Without another word, 20 and Khan finished their breakfast in the galley. It confused Khan to no end that 20 hadn’t searched his emotions or sensed his compassion. He saw humans as feeble when in truth they were just reckless...  he wasn’t much different if he analysed the situation long enough. _Good God, she really **has** changed me... _

“Khan?” 20 said a little louder when her companion seemed lost in another world.

“I asked you what she said afterward. Wake up, sleepy.”

Khan leant forward and said one word, 20 leaning in to make sure she caught it.

“Thank you.”

With that 20 – in full view of no less than 30 crewmen and women – kissed him on the cheek with a trace of reluctance and walked out with Khan at her side. The whispering starting up once again, as only now she was walking away could they see her leg; it looked completely normal and her limp had disappeared. Initially everybody was too busy watching Khan to see if he planned to murder anybody else or bruise them the way he had the ship’s youngest crew member - in this haste to discuss what was happening between the two, nobody saw Commander Spock leave the room with a red face or shout at an Ensign who bumped into him just outside the door. Somehow... somehow he had heard 20's emotions of hatred and he couldn't blame her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait but this baby is on hiatus for the month... BYE FELICIA!


	12. Saying Sorry Is Harder Than It Looks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock apologises and our two protagonists get close... perhaps a little too close

20 had finished her rounds for the day with Khan passing tools back and forth to her with pleasure, as he found it rather entertaining when she cursed at the ships internal wiring most of the time she'd been on call. Today she had gotten up at six and finished up her work at six; a full twelve hours of minor electric shocks, malfunctioning machinery and Khan’s legs. The last one took up the least of her time though – besides, what else could she have been looking at? It was all they could see of one another. The conversations they had never got boring and she always enjoyed the history of Earth in its early days. _Being over 300 years old does that to you_ , she supposed. As 20 shuffled out of the cramped service panel, she began using a tool to put the thick panel back in place. She heard a sadness move through the halls like an icy wind and the panel nearly crushed her as it fell toward her. Khan’s reflexes were faster than her own and he held it in place so she could fasten it correctly without being squashed.

“You seem distracted today,” Khan said observantly, his worry echoing in her mind as she fixed the panel in place.

“Is something on your mind 20?”

“A lot of things,” 20 said with an exhausted huff.

“Want to head back to our quarters and shower? Relaxing and reading might do us both some good.”

“After you tell me what’s bothering you I’ll go anywhere you take me,” Khan replied, his face taking on a serious I-meant-it expression.

“Don’t play around, Khan. Just let me pack this thing away and we can leave.”

“He’s near us, isn’t he? You know that Spock is nearby,” Khan said as his eyes searched her face.

“So what if he is?” 20 said.

Her eyes betrayed her, a glassy quality overtaking them as tears began to form. Any other person wouldn’t have noticed such a trivial detail, but Khan noticed anything and everything about an individual’s face, human or not.

“How far away is he?” Khan said.

Almost as soon as their eyes locked together, 20 glanced past Khan as the looming sadness moved closer. It was moving faster now that she had given it attention, now that it knew she was in distress. Spock had formed a bond with her by force and now he could see into her mind; the ultimate mental intrusion in her opinion.

“He’s going to see us, but I can’t...”

20 couldn’t get the words out as a few tears threatened to overwhelm her senses.

“... I can’t run from him forever,” she finished “I’m on this ship for five years, not five seconds.”

20 packed away the tools and headed in the direction of Engineering. They were walking right towards Spock, being tailed by Captain Kirk while he was off-duty and Sulu had taken over the helm.

“He’s coming around the next right,” 20 whispered loudly enough for Khan to hear.

Khan said nothing and 20 almost ran into Spock’s chest. However, Khan and Kirk were not so lucky and collided instantly, their bodies in a compromising position on the floor. Kirk had a cheeky grin on his face and decided Khan needed to loosen up a little. (No pun intended).

“I didn’t think you'd swing that way,” he said with a wink.

Khan shook his head as if Kirk were an immature teenager and stood up swiftly and 20 snickered despite her close proximity to Spock. Spock’s sadness was still present, but he must have seen her smile because he shifted from anger, guilt and sorrow to a mix of cheer, confusion and sadness that seemed to lay dormant in all being’s minds.

“Ensign, may I speak with Khan?” Spock said, making Khan and Kirk fall silent.

“I promise to return him to you as soon as possible.”

“Um... of course,” 20 said, doing well to hide her external nervousness “In that case I’ll walk with the captain.”

With a polite nod, the two pairs went in opposite directions, 20 and Khan taking one last glance at each other. Kirk decided to lead the way to Engineering, 20’s tool case being held tightly under one arm. If it fell on the ground the equipment would be damaged instantly because it was all so compacted on the inside and she wouldn't risk holding it by the handle - she'd learnt that the hard way at the Academy.

“How have you been?” Kirk said casually.

He hoped to keep the conversation moving rather than allowing 20 time to ponder Spock and his recent (and rather violent) actions.

“Fine I suppose, given what’s happened. Is it true that Scotty gave Spock that bruise on his eye?” 20 asked, recalling McCoy’s short list of people she could trust with her secret.

“Yeah, he did,” Kirk sighed, almost giving up on the discussion at that moment.

“Why would he? I’ve never said a word to him; I’ve only seen him cart Spock off when he trapped us in Tactical room you assigned Khan to meet in.”

“Speaking of Khan, has he behaved himself?”

“Oh no, he’s an absolute horror,” 20 said with a tone laden in sarcasm.

“Fought a man-cat hybrid and then brought back its head as a trophy.”

“Sounds like something the cat half would do,” Kirk said with a laugh as they entered Engineering.

20 laughed and was – for the second time that day – almost bowled over by another man. Scotty.

“Oh, Jesus!” Scotty said as his arm collected 20’s empty arm “Sorry 20, didn’t mean to bump you.”

“Captain,” Scotty said, addressing Kirk further with a nod.

“I hear you’ve got quite a good arm Scotty,” 20 said with a small smile.

“Well I’m not as limber as I used to be,” he said with belittlement in his tone “How’s that psychopath puppy going? Still following you on your rounds?”

Scotty watched 20 nod once with a grin and return her equipment to the correct storage shelf.

“Did you just finish your shift?” he asked in alarm.

“Yes,” 20 said with a quick nod “I was always taught to finish what I’ve started.”

“Your shift ended over three hours ago,” Scotty said, suddenly lowering his voice and searching the room for possible eavesdroppers “and after what happened with Spock I suggest you give yourself time to rest.”

20 felt like a puppy being told not to dig in a garden. Scotty and Kirk were worried about her, but that was the last thing on her mind. All she could feel now was a burning anger from somewhere on the ship, undoubtedly coming from Khan.

“Gentlemen,” 20 said as respectfully as she could despite backing out of Engineering.

“I have to go. I’ll take your advice Scotty.”

20 winked and left the men standing there, a little more than confused. Why would she leave their company so quickly if Spock was what she had to fear? She could quite easily run into him in the hallway but no, her fear was that Khan would kill him. 20 followed the anger like a hound would a scent, pausing every now and then to feel for him. Suddenly the emotions she felt shifted and she was thrown off course. There was pity, confusion, and an immense sadness, but it wasn’t from Khan. Somehow Spock’s emotions had become a brick wall, closing her in on every side. She was frozen in the empty hall and a tear slid down her cheek. And then she walked onward. For some time it seemed hopeless, but when she came upon Spock’s personal quarters, she felt sure she was in the right place. Pressing a button on the panel, 20 was greeted with an odd sight. Khan was sitting on a small cushioned chair that could seat three people and he was in a deep conversation with a distraught Spock, who was almost hip to hip with him.

“May I come in?” 20 said, her mind growing fuzzy at the edges as Spock’s sadness made her ever so slightly light headed.

Spock only nodded. 20 walked in and the door shut behind her. She had no idea what to do or why, but something told her she wasn’t the one who needed help in this moment. 20 took the safest route and pulled a hard metal chair from Spock’s personal dining table and sat in front of him.

“I know you’re angry with yourself, but if you keep upsetting yourself you’ll only make things worse,” 20 said calmly, leaning over and placing a hand on Spock’s shoulder.

One of his own hands moved up toward it, but instead he dropped it and doubled over to avoid eye contact. At least he wasn’t crying.

“You made a bond with me when I was a child, yes?” 20 asked, hoping to somehow get the Vulcan to string together a few coherent words.

“Yes... I shouldn’t have... too dangerous for someone so young,” he said so quietly his whispers were almost inaudible.

“We need to break that bond or else we’re going to echo emotions between ourselves for the rest of our lives,” 20 said, her hand gripping onto Spock’s clothing a little harder.

“Can you do that for me?”

Spock slowly brought his eyes up to look at 20 and he felt a mere twinge of fear in amongst her pity, her worry, her compassion... she loved him, yes, but not the way she loved the man sitting next to him.

“I... how can I tell you how sorry I am?” he said as his eyes began to water.

“Don’t,” was 20’s only answer.

Spock put his hand against 20’s temples and splayed his fingers as he had when she was a child. In that moment, 20 regained a memory. The very first time she had called Chekov ‘Mr Chicken’. Her first memory of him and the one she had always wondered about. When the mind meld faded away, so did Spock’s tears and most of the fear 20 had felt echoing in her head.

“Well, it worked,” 20 said as she leaned forward, nervously closing Spock in a hug.

“How can you forgive me so easily after what I did?” Spock whispered.

He let one hand rest on 20’s shoulder while the other stayed at his side, watched closely by Khan.

“I can forgive but I can never forget,” she said as her arms tightened their grip “I could feel your pain, your sadness... only someone who truly wants to make amends can make the guy next to you feel pity.”

Spock let 20 go and moved away from the seat, allowing Khan and his lover – that’s what they were to one another, surely? – leave. While he was saddened by the loss of another woman in his life, Spock knew it was best for 20 to leave him. She was brave, but not brave enough to come back any time soon and he knew it. All things considered, it was a very sensible course of action. He was the cause and fear was the effect. The solution was removing himself from the equation.

 

8:58 pm...

 

20 was curled up on her bed with her book, reading the last few pages. Khan had finished his own novel about half an hour ago and had been waiting patiently for her to finish. He accomplished this by reading through the back cover at least thirty times. Occasionally he would fiddle with his singlet as if it interested him; 20 was almost certain it wasn’t as fascinating as he made it seem.

“Last... page... **done** ,” 20 said as she dropped it on the bedside table dramatically as the last syllable ran through her mind.

20 gave a relaxed sigh and smiled at Khan, alerting him to the way her eyes would close for a few seconds and open again as she thought about sleeping and denied herself that opportunity.

“Would you mind if I was over there with you?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“No,” 20 said as her eyes opened “That’s fine with me.”

Khan nodded and picked up _The Hobbit_ from the bedside table, the other two books residing on opposite sides while the one now in his hand had been sitting in the middle. 20 didn’t want to get confused between the three, considering the title was the only way to differentiate them all. Unlike the last time Khan had put his arms around 20, she wasn’t wary of his anatomy in any way. As soon as he was comfortable with his legs spread out, she moved herself back and let her head sit against his chest, strong arms closing in around her small frame. Khan pressed a kiss to 20’s temple and let his lips hover near her ear, his warm breath moving down her throat as if it were seeking to warm her body. As if she had reflexes that had lain dormant for the past day, 20 sat her hands on Khan’s arms, pulling lightly on them. Khan leant down to ask 20 what was wrong, but instead he felt her lips on his. His initial reaction was shock, but something reminiscent of guilt set in and he pushed himself back.

“Why did you do that?” he asked almost feverishly.

“Because that’s what people do to show affection,” she replied with a spark in her eye “I’m not blind and half-witted you know? Your emotions and your feelings affect me too.”

“I couldn’t do that to you so soon after everything that happened in the past two days,” Khan said, angry at his selfish indulgence and 20`s recklessness.

20 sat up and turned around, coming face to face with Khan. Her hands elbows were suddenly on his shoulders and his breathing seemed to hitch for a split second, her wrists coming to rest around his neck.

“Kissing doesn’t have to be anything more than we make it,” 20 said into Khan’s ear.

Khan let 20 search his eyes as he brought a hand to her cheek, bringing their lips together. The kiss was gentle and 20 could sense the passion behind it, her blood beginning to heat in her veins. Khan’s tongue became possessive and his arms closed around 20, deepening the kiss as he brought her body closer to his. 20 pressed her hands against Khan’s chest and ran her hands down his sides. Khan made sure her hands never wandered. When the kissing became intense he finally moved himself away from her.

“Goodnight,” he said flatly.

Pressing a quick kiss to 20’s forehead, Khan loved his leg around her and swung them down to the floor. Before he could stand, 20 grabbed a hold of his hip.

“Stay,” she said pleadingly.

Khan felt an urging in his mind to stay and he couldn’t deny that sleeping on his own had felt lonely, but with the blood pumping through his heart and another part of his anatomy sleeping would be impossible. It was a good thing he didn’t need much. Khan stood up and brought his pillow over to 20’s bed, the woman herself pulling back the covers. She faced the wall and waited for his warm embrace, but instead he gave her a final kiss on the cheek and turned face-up on the bed. 20 felt his reservations, but his mind told her that he was distracted by the lump in his shorts. As much as she wanted him to leave the room and deal with it himself, 20 just smiled to herself and fell asleep. She would wait until the time was right and surprise him when she had the chance.


	13. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 makes an attempt at seduction and this story comes to a sad and possibly rushed end... of course I can't be the judge of that.

20 and Khan had been working closely for the past three months with the latter being trained to become a technician. As a superhuman he found the work quite easy and had soon gotten up to 20’s level. She was always impressed by his ideas on how to fix a problem using minimal effort. For the first time in forever she was getting off her shifts on time, waking up feeling refreshed and happy. The only thing that annoyed her was the way Khan would gladly sleep next to her when she was asleep. She couldn’t trick him and he had stayed up all night at one point to make sure she didn’t do anything she regretted. It was like he hated her when she was awake and loved her when she was asleep; it made her feel rejected. Perhaps she could plan a surprise attack? Sneak up from behind? No, that just sounded wrong... every last syllable. A surprise attack sounded better. She was concerned about her body to say the least, but if she couldn’t handle sleeping with him she’d tell him. She wasn’t doing this out of desperation. 20 wanted to be with Khan because of the bond they had made.

“Are you going to bed early?” he asked as she made her way to the bathroom.

20 snapped out of her formulating and planning long enough to glance at him and reply.

“Yes” she said with a smile “my intuition tells me tomorrow will be busy.”

Khan made a face that screamed confusion but said nothing, giving her a nod. 20 went into the shower and practically scrubbed off a layer of skin to get herself clean. They’d been to one of the levels where living plants were stored and some of them had delightful smells, but a few made pungent odours. Besides, cleanliness was something she prided herself on. When 20 left the bathroom with her pyjama shorts and a singlet on, she felt a shift in the room. Khan was suspicious of her motives. Then it hit her. She had a day off tomorrow and she’d told him she would be busy. Now was her time for an excuse. He would sense her panic and ask her –

“Is something wrong?” Khan said from his bed.

“Well... yes, I suppose there is,” 20 said honestly “I realised that you might be wandering what I meant by ‘being busy’ tomorrow, since it’s my day off.”

“I was a bit curious,” he said as he made eye contact with her.

“Well it’s a team member’s birthday and I hoped to surprise them with a program for the holodeck,” she said coolly “their family would be holograms of their actual family are back on earth with the same program running.”

Khan smirked and nodded.

“Whatever you’re hiding had better not be my murder, because you’re a hopeless liar” Khan said calmly.

20 took this as her opportunity turn on her seductive act. Khan was reading the last few lines of the last book and his attention was on deciphering the complicated heritage of the books. He wouldn’t see her coming until she was on him. Literally. 20 stalked over to the bed and put one knee against his left leg, quickly swinging the other over his long legs. Khan put down his book and put his hands out straight, keeping 20 away from him. She was nowhere near his groin or his upper body – any place she might be able to coerce him into sleeping with her – and he planned on keeping it that way. She hit his arm hard but he kept a firm, almost painful grip on her shoulders.

“What are you doing?” he asked her with severity in his tone.

“Showing you that I love you the way everybody else does,” 20 replied with anger in her tone “But apparently that’s why you barely say anything or acknowledge my existence when I’m awake. Am I really that much of a danger to myself that we can’t lay in a bed by each other’s side while I’m awake? It’s ridiculous.”

20 ripped herself away and Khan tried to take a hold of her again but she shook her head.

“This is what you want isn’t it?” she said as her voice took on the hurt weighing her down “For me to stay on my side of the room and never annoy you? I came over here because I want to be with you, not because I’m trying to prove anything. If something hurt me I’d tell you to stop. I’m not stupid enough to do something if it hurts me or it hurts you to see me in pain.”

Khan fell silent and looked to the wall as if he could solve the problem.

“I’ll let you try once,” he said as a small flush decorated his cheeks “but if you’re in pain we stop and don’t try again. At least for another month.”

“You’re not saying this just to stop me from getting mad?” 20 said critically.

Khan looked rather nervous and 20 couldn’t understand why. She sat herself over his legs again, her thighs sitting over Khan’s, his groin still far away from hers. He had to make the first move and she was prepared to wait. Khan sat his hands lightly on 20’s hips and pulled her forward, his lower body brushing against hers. It sent fire up his spine and back down to his crotch, which had started to react of its own accord. 20 leant forward to give him a kiss but Khan seemed more than reluctant.

“Is something wrong Khan? You don’t seem too comfortable with this,” 20 said as concern flooded their bond.

She reached out and Khan was delivering fear in a steady flow through the connection. He was anxious too, but what made him this way?

“Why are you so worried?” 20 said as she pulled him into a hug “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything,” he said dangerously “I just haven’t been with someone for a century or two.”

“I haven’t been with anyone myself,” she said as she pressed a warm, wet kiss to his neck “and I plan on taking this slowly. We shouldn’t be panicking yet... there’s so much to do.”

Khan pushed 20 back so that he could see her face and smashed their lips together, tasting her hungrily. 20 was trying to keep herself from drowning in the static that was working its way through her veins. 20’s hands moved to Khan’s hair, moving through the short, black strands. Khan had his arms wrapped around her back, his hands moving to the small of her back. 20 moved her kisses along Khan’s jaw and sat up on her knees, running her hands down his broad chest. She felt the taut muscles moving under his skin through his singlet, the anticipation mounting as her hand moved to the edges of his shirt. She held onto the fabric and lifted it but Khan’s hands stopped her. He pushed her hands away and pulled the black fabric over his head swiftly, his lips sealing themselves to a patch of skin between her neck and her shoulder for a moment. He pulled at her top and she raised her arms, letting his hands run up her sides as he lifted it from her body. Their tops were on the ground in a pile and 20’s bra soon followed. She began to kiss him again and paid no attention to the hands on her back setting her skin alight. 20 had her mind focused on moving her hand down his stomach, sliding it over his pale skin and moving it against the bulge that had developed in his shorts. Khan’s breath hitched and 20 was smirking into the kiss, glad that she wasn’t clumsy at **everything** she put her efforts into. Khan pushed 20 back so that she was flat on the bed and manoeuvred his own hand down between them, pulling at the waistband of her shorts. He looked into her eyes and the feeling of lust flowed between them, leaving an impression in their minds. This was what they wanted. This was how love should be; slow and full of exploration. Khan’s hands pulled at the fabric again and 20 brought her hands down to his, helping him remove the shorts and her underwear in one swift movement. Khan still had a pair of boxers on, but as he leant over 20 to trail kisses over her shoulder, he took them off. Without their clothes, fully exposed, they made love under the stars.

 

Five Years Later...

 

When they landed on Earth, 20 had so many things to think about. Khan had been nothing but kind to her on the long journey and had even become ‘friendly’ with Kirk. However, they did have their disagreements which led to no less than one or more broken bones belonging to Khan; instead of punching someone he would punch a wall. He had married her in the fourth year and they got to spend their one year anniversary on earth with their daughter Deanna. But they didn’t have long with her. Deanna was far stronger than her mother when it came to the emotional and mental powers of the Betazoids. 20 found out that her real name was Maxine, a codename for maximum. She was the strongest Betazoid that scientists of the ancient times (roughly the 2090’s) had been able to create artificially. She and many others had been placed in stasis before even Khan and his crew. That made her the older woman, which she always joked about. Deanna was going to be adopted by another couple... Troy was their surname, but no other details besides the mother’s species was disclosed. Since the mother was a full Betazoid and not a hybrid, 20 and Khan agreed that their daughter would be safe. Who would understand Deanna better than someone who knows the inner workings of such a gift through generations of experience? 20 took the name Maxine when Khan had explained her origins; they both agreed to use Khan’s alias’ surname. John and Maxine Harrison – the tamed war criminal and a woman who could reveal a man’s secrets as soon as she saw him. Despite their misgivings and many misunderstandings, John and Maxine had made a life for themselves. John would work as a strategist due to his extended knowledge of war and Maxine would be used to – as she preferred to put it – ‘politely interrogate’ war criminals and determine guilt at hearings. She was eternally on jury duty and being so busy meant she had no time to look after a child. Deanna was better off with someone like herself, not two science projects that were centuries old. Deanna was gargling and she held tight to her mother’s finger, looking into Maxine’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Dee,” Maxine whispered to the infant as it began to cry.

The baby knew; something wasn’t right. Maxine handed an elegantly dressed woman her baby girl, John’s arms wrapping around her back as she began to sob.

“Hush now Deanna,” the woman said soothingly “I’m going to love you just as much as your mother, if not more. Your father is very much the same.”

Deanna stopped crying and Maxine stood up straight, nodding once to her child’s new mother.

“Take good care of her for us,” Maxine said as her eyes welled up again “I don’t want her to feel alone or different. She should be as normal as she can be.”

“You have my word,” the woman said as Deanna reached out to grab at the dress.

She seemed as happy as the young woman carrying her away. John kept a hand on his wife’s shoulder as the woman walked away, Deanna’s delighted squeals making him smile.

“She’ll be fine,” Maxine said as she turned to look up at her husband “I can tell.”

John kissed Maxine’s cheek.

“Then why are you crying?” he said as if he’d told a joke.

“Could’ve been me and someone else,” Maxine said as she swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks.

John would have been mad had he thought she meant Spock, but it was her first love, not her forced one. They began to walk, and walk, and walk until they found a cemetery. It was where they buried him after the attack. For no reason, no act he had committed, a crazed group of teenagers had beaten Pavel to death when he stopped to sit down in a park. He loved to watch birds in the trees and that’s where his grave sat – under a tree in the cemetery. Maxine squatted down and placed a plastic flower in the metal holder. It was only when the flowers died that the groundskeeper would take them away. He would always have a flower. Judging by the look on her husband’s face and the feelings swirling between them, he would always have a place in their hearts too.

 

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos and bookmarks, now get commentin' so I know where I've goofed and need to make changes! 
> 
> I want to improve for future readers XD

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any misinformation: I am not a Trekkian expert!


End file.
